Someone posed the question to me that not everyone knows what love looks like or how to bestow it upon themselves. It's a great point because when you grow up with mixed messages about what love is it can be confusing when someone says you have to learn how to love yourself.
Love is such a worn out word and one thrown around with abandonment it is no wonder it is hard to grasp the spiritual context of self love.
Love to me is firstly respecting yourself having clear boundaries of what behavior you will accept from others and what behavior you won't. It is valuing yourself it is knowing you are a divine child of the Universe an important piece in Creators puzzle and you deserve to be treated with respect.
Love is giving yourself a break now and then. Tossing the critical inner voice out the window and going” You know what it didn't work out quite as I had planned but that's okay I learned something today”. Love is letting go of judgment and stepping into acceptance “In this moment I am where I am meant to be and I am who I am meant to be”.
Think about the love you give a child when they are hurt you sooth them...when they are disappointed discouraged you encourage them...when they are angry you listen to them. It is no different with our own inner child.
Maybe as an adult you walk with a wounded inner child who longs to be accepted and loved. That is the child you should be comforting caring for showing her/him how much they mean to you.
I do not to promote courses without adding a cautionary note...remember everything should be viewed as a TOOL to find your own answers not as an ANSWER in itself. Having said that there are some wonderful courses available that promote self esteem I would however stick to ones that give you the basics rather than get caught in the latest fad.
Loving yourself is also about nurturing yourself taking care of your spiritual physical and emotional well being. Here is a simple exercise to try out I call it filling your cup.
The white cup (mug etc)
Some times we are like an empty cup. We struggle to have a sense of self and say out loud things like “why does my life feel empty” or why can't I make friends”. Our soul or our inner world is a cup we fill up with love. Some people have so much it overflows you will know them by the joy you feel in their presence.
Some people have so little love their cup is almost dry you will know them by the gray cloud of gloom that follows where-ever they go. What happens when the cup is empty?
Often we look to others to fill it and end up in dysfunctional relationship always wanting something from the other person or conversely blaming them for the way we feel.
The white cup exercise is about learning to fill your own cup so it overflows with joy and happiness.
- Purchase a white coffee mug and a black permanent marker
- Every day think of something you can do for yourself. For example take a long bath or go to the movies or spiritually enlightening movies a class or join a group or simply walk on the beach or go for coffee with a friend or meditate
- Every time you do something draw a line on the mug making your way up to the top.
You are basically watching your cup fill up and very soon it will be overflowing. DON'T STOP when you reach the top rather use the mug as a reminder to nurture your self physically emotionally and spiritually.
As always with everything try not to over intellectualize the whole process don't allow yourself to get so stressed about the doing you forget to just be.
Keep it simple ask yourself if this was my child how would I treat her/him?
Then start parenting your inner child the way you wished you had been parented. Be gentle be nurturing be kind be less judgmental be forgiving and so on.
Learn to respect yourself your body and teach others how to respect you by having clear boundaries.
You are and always will be a divine child of the Universe the Creator show his/her love each breath you are given.
Put your hand on your chest feel your heart beat and know you are loved and lovable.
Robin Newman is an Australian Psychic living in Canada. She believes in creating futures and changing lives by giving people the life tools they need to create an authentic life of abundance and joy. There is no fee to join her website 1 step 1 day at a time [http://1step1dayatatime.com] which offers free workshops, ebooks,audiobooks and psychic readings.