Gratitude at the David Hoffmeister ACIM Monastery
I wish to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I'm still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining types of the teachings of a course in miracles, and fo initially in an extended while, I don't feel alone.
Element of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was the thought that I will be doing this for the wrong reason; as an easy way to avoid my problems a course in miracles. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I'm about to generally share wasn't yet clear at that time; only on the drive away made it happen coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never should have told you, never should have enable you to see inside. Don't want it troubling your brain, won't you allow it be?” This confused me as I really could not consider whatever I had said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don't want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I had in arriving at the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere using its residents'reassurance, by simply my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people's state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief is being (has been?) released.
There are other items that happened that felt important, but I can't consider them right now.