Forever Adventure

Introduction (question mark)

I would like to think that with time, I will get more comfortable writing down my thoughts, expressing my feelings. Nonetheless it takes quite some energy for me to focus on being calm and gather all the things I would like to transform into words. I can firmly say though that I try with all my heart to explain and get the message through.

I would like to insert a quick little explanation for those 9 people who followed the FA blog on tumblr, that is about why I left that platform. I deleted that blog, because I try to switch to FOSS apps/services in every way my technical knowledge lets me. I think I will choose to discard most posts made there and start everything anew here.

I would like to begin with who I am and then what my soul's desire is. My name is Nappé, I am from Hungary and I am 22 years old. I am somebody who feels isolated in this world regarding my beliefs and desires. I live with a lovely girl and two packages of love, Haku & Tinta. (Haku is a 2 year old dog and Tinta is a 2 year old cat.) Both of them joined us in this village at almost the same time as we did and since then we experience life together. Growing up was harsh on me and until I was around 19-20 years old, I really wanted to make life work for myself. I really tried fitting in. I tried, until I totally collapsed. I was actively thinking and planning on ending my life, I really had no fun whatsoever on this planet and I was not even able to be thankful for all the things that I am thankful for today. When I was around 16-17 and chose to leave the original family I grew up with, I have found a book on the bookshelf of my later becoming new family. I have not opened it for 2-3 years. (Excuse me for just guessing the time periods, but it is known that depressed people lose track of time.) I carried it everywhere in my backpack. You could say I stole it, but I would rather say that everyone was okay with me taking that book, because what I guess is that they have seen that we belong together. I took it to school, shopping, carried it to friends, but it was closed during all this time. Me and the girl I love (I choose not to use “my girlfriend” and I choose not to tell her name) lived together in Denmark, during the time we went to university there. That 1,5 year period was an experience that could have ended up with me killing myself already, but I think only some time later was the final 'I had enough' moment. I opened the book in Denmark, for the first time. It was like deep down I knew, there will be a moment when it will come naturally and that is the reason I had it with me all the time and wasn't gonna open it. I read some, I barely even remember the experience of reading. What I remember is that I felt that I can not process this now. The words were not carrying meaning, I read the word and I was just sitting there like, what? I figured I would like to go somewhere where I can regain myself, regain calmness and my brain processing power. I knew I really wanted to end my suffering in Denmark and at the same time read this book. Some time later, thanks to the people around me, we ended up in this village. I was tired, fat, sad, and my frustration about wanting to fit in and be like everyone else did not change. We spent half a year here, when winter came. This was the final 'I had enough' moment I was talking about. I felt that people are frightened around me and wanting to be by my side all the time so they would see if I am planning anything related to ending my life.

I think it is convenient to guess what happened after this. I spent the days being like a zombie. I wasn't here, nor do I remember anything from this period. However I felt like I have one thing that my soul is craving for. I felt like I can give myself a chance. I prepared days ahead, (like I do with most things) I put the book on the bed every morning, so that I would see it all the time. One night I opened the book. God knows how much time has passed until I finished. I don't remember anything from this period. I cried, smiled, laughed, then felt like I am here and alive. My life has changed. I changed it. The title of the book is Conversations with God, by Neal D. Walsch.

The reason I created this Wordsmith profile is to express my new self. I do not wish to hide, that I am also deeply hopeful, that somehow it finds somebody or even more people, that share the same beliefs I do.

Dear person, if you have read the Conversations with God series, or any of Neal's work, or you feel called to read it, I invite you and I offer you myself to make a community together in which we could live together the way that we feel like we want. To live without the illusions, to live in freedom, in love and in nature. Being one with everyone and with God and finally to create an example that people could see and possibly apply in their lives/community. This is my soul's sole desire. I am here to find people who would like what I would like. Who want to experience what I want to experience and to influence the change of the world.

What I believe in is living life with no expectations, therefore this is only a preference. I would prefer living with you in a community instead of living alone. I would prefer sharing each others happiness instead of me being alone with nobody around me I could tell my joy.

If you have read this so far, I would also like to tell you that I do not want to take Neal's work and redistribute it with my own words. I feel like that part of this creation is done. It is done since the 90's. What I would share on this blog in the following period is my experience of what I believe in, not the truth itself. I believe the truth about life is there in everyone, no book, no guru, no nothing is required to access that. But, if you feel called to read Neal's work and help yourself in a world that is so information based, I recommend you read CWG (1-4). If you have not read it already, you may consider rereading what I wrote in this blog post after you did.

I feel isolated with my beliefs. I would love to see what the creating power of more than one person could do. I would love to help humanity to remember. Remember who they are and I would love to give people back to themselves. As I said, I have no expectations, but my arms are wide open to a big hug if you would like to get to know me. I am here to help with what I can help with, I am here to explain anything you might have questions about. I would love to live life in a way that is without illusions, if your soul was jumping around signaling that it wants the same, I would love to send a big hug to encourage you to listen to it.

Have a beautiful night. I wish to you what you wish for yourself,

Nappé

Illusions

There are two main phrases I’ve used in my previous, first post that I would like to clarify before I go further into my ideas, in order for us to be on the same page and for you to understand me even if you haven’t or won’t read the books I have mentioned.

The first one of these is “Illusions”. The definition of the word is “false belief”. Something that is not real, only we think it is. I would say illusions are concepts, objects, behaviors, thoughts, and just generally creations created and upheld by individuals and therefore by masses without them realizing. According to Wikipedia, “although illusions distort our perception of reality, they are generally shared by most people”.

Neal, the author of the book I have previously mentioned has a whole book on the topic of Illusions. Now, I don’t feel like I am somebody who is yet another person repeating the same things in writing, so I’ll just say, if you feel called to it, read it, listen to it, or simply choose to remember. As I said in the introduction, I believe you need nothing (this could be something relevant a paragraph later) to remember who you are, you need no books, gurus, or anything. You yourself can decide to remember who you are. Explaining and having a written form of the truth is available. I honestly mean that I am somebody who enjoys explaining and answering to questions, but note that the general truth will be the same from my side too. So the reason for me recommending Neal is not because his work is my bible or my القرآن but because I would literally say the same and you may understand why after you've read it. The book is called “Communion with God”. However, I will use the list of 10 illusions the book features so as to get the idea through.

The 10 illusions and next to it, the universal truth.

  1. Need exists. — God needs nothing.
  2. Failure exists. — God cannot fail, and neither can you.
  3. Disunity exists. — Nothing is separate from anything.
  4. Insufficiency exists. — There is enough.
  5. Requirement exists. — There is nothing you have to do.
  6. Judgement exists. — You will never be judged.
  7. Condemnation exists. — You will never be condemned.
  8. Conditionality exists. — Love knows no condition.
  9. Superiority exists. — A thing cannot be superior to itself.
  10. Ignorance exists. — You already know all this.

These are all perceptions that some people, a 'long, long' time ago made up, and people are living in this world, acting like these are the rules of nature, acting like these illusions are equal to the simple fact that if you don’t get oxygen in your system for a couple of minutes, your body will stop functioning. I encourage you to take a moment to think about it. Think about the fact that literally everything around you, physical or institutional wouldn’t exist if society decided so. We made it, we choose, every day to uphold it, and we can choose to diminish it. This is true for everything except the functional minimum we, as monkeys evolved on this planet with – air, food, water. Everything else is a product of years and years of mostly unconscious creation by a species who has the creating power, but does not recognize it, because they forgot about it. We are on a ship that is going towards an iceberg, screaming in fear, yet we choose not to recognize that the ship is driven by us.

The illusion of need is the base of it all, where it all comes from. You do not NEED anything besides what I have already mentioned, the functional minimum (which many people these days don’t, nor do they have the opportunity to have so others can have it by multitudes – apparently people call this a working society/system).

I’d like to come back to the term “the functional minimum” meaning that in nature, there is no need. In the place humans have evolved, you didn’t need to wear clothes, heat your house – in fact, you didn’t need a house – or work in order to have food. Nature provides the water for you to drink from a spring or any water body, the fruit to eat from a tree, while basic body function is guaranteed by intelligent cells and organs. The rest is a creation, conscious or unconscious. You can have it, but consider not fooling yourself by refusing to take responsibility, blaming it on long dead people who made up all these concepts.

If this seems like an interesting topic, I encourage you to read the book, as I can see my truth on those pages. Not the other way around.

I see a community fully conscious of its creating power, where people, instead of living in the illusions, choosing not to realize they are in fact, creations, use their creating power to live in a way that’s in alignment with them/their beliefs. Where people use the illusions to consciously and mindfully create experiences they wish to live through. I would love to go back to nature, to my natural form. The condition of the planet and the attitude of society affects this to a significant degree, nonetheless I would like to experience this. I invite you to be together, if you desire to create and experience this too.

As you may remember I mentioned, that there are two things for me to explain, and the next post possibly will be about that, namely remembering. In that post I also plan to include why I refer to this experience as Forever Adventure. Thank you for reading this. I am thankful for you. (yellow heart emoji)