Yet Another Modest Proposal

It was decided by the WHO in 2015 that diseases should not be given geographical names (Spanish Flu, for example, which on top of everything else should have been called the Kansas Flu) nor names from economic sectors (Swine Flu) because of unfair stigmatization and economic disruption this practice causes. (Ref.)

(Interesting historical footnote: it was pork producers who first lobbied for this, followed by poultry producers, before the rule was finally brought in.)

This is why it is technically poor form to use terms like “the Wuhan coronavirus” and the assholes who insist on using it are rightly taken to task for it.

The Problem

For a while the press was copacetic, however, with naming variants after geographical regions (which is … seriously just as icky as naming the primary disease after one). This is why we had the “UK strain” and the “South African strain” for a while before that was pushed back against (now the Alpha and Beta strain respectively). The reason for this is clear. The official strain names are a confusing mess to untrained eyes. The “Delta” strain now causing panic around the world, for example, is called …

VOC Delta G/478K.V1 (B.1.617.2.+AY.1+AY.2+AY.3)

Just rolls right off the tongue doesn't it? Which is why they now give names like Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Kappa, and Lambda. (Yes, there are now many more “strains of interest” past the fearsome Delta. Whee!)

But those names are problematical as well. Partially because they're boring, but mostly because those strains have causes. Blaming the people living in a given geographical region for the strain is unjust, absolutely. But the leadership being given blame sounds about right to me!

The Solution

So here are my proposed name substitutions for COVID-19 strains:

I think if heads of state started getting deadly disease variants that broke out under their watch named after them, so people talk about how “Joe killed 120,000 people” and such they might start taking countermeasures more seriously.