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A European Social Survey data (published in 2023) revealed that heterosexual couples reported lower life satisfaction when the wife/partner was the breadwinner compared with when the husband/partner works or both are working. Looking at this and other surveys in the US taken in the last decade, it appears that there is a nostalgia for the Donald Draper golden era where men being the sole breadwinner was the norm. After over a half a century of the so-called sexual revolution in Western societies, why are the men still expected to hold the primary role of the main provider for the family, while, as further findings show, men are adversely affected by this expectation?

Who Wears the Pants Matters

First, let’s discuss the surveys in more detail. The European Social Survey also showed women's life satisfaction is lower (6.33) when they are the sole earner and higher (7.10) when their husband/partner is the sole earner. Men’s life satisfaction is 5.86 when his wife/partner is the sole earner, versus 7.16 when he is the only earner. In fact, men and women struggle—but men most—in terms of mental health issues in situations when their spouse/partner is the breadwinner and they are jobless.

This tells us that heterosexual couples in the European countries surveyed (United Kingdom, Spain, Slovenia, Portugal, Poland, Ireland, Germany, France, and Finland) are happier when they are able to fulfill their livelihood under traditional gender norms. Any deviation from conforming to the traditionally ascribed roles for men and women resulted in adverse effects for both sexes, but particularly more for men. Reasons may lie in lower income when women work than a two-earner or male-breadwinner household and the psychological pressure that men particularly experience when they cannot provide for the family.

Take Thee to Be My Wedded Husband

Another survey, by the Pew Research Center in 2017, revealed that over 70 percent of Americans say that men should be the family’s provider. The survey which looked at heterosexual marriages found that 71 percent of women surveyed expected their male partners to be the breadwinner to qualify as a good partner, notwithstanding 39 percent of women said that women should be able to provide financially for their families.

Of the men surveyed in the Pew study, 72 percent said that to be a good partner, it is important for the man to be able to financially support his family, while just 25 percent of men thought that a woman needs to be a breadwinner to be a good wife. This shows that the traditional sexual division of labor is at the center of heterosexual marriages and not being able to conform to these roles may devalue one’s eligibility as a potential spouse.

Lower well-being in unemployed male in heterosexual unions is fairly universal.

Reflecting on the findings of a previous study in 2016 by the University of Connecticut, it appears that society puts a heavier burden on men than women in taking on financial responsibility in the family that it affects men’s well-being. The survey revealed that American men who took greater financial responsibility in the family reported a strain in their well-being with negative effects on their health.

What’s also interesting is that the European Social Survey findings furthermore showed that the issue of lower well-being in unemployed male in heterosexual unions is fairly universal across the nine countries surveyed. It is even the case in more gender-equal countries such as Finland.

Aggrieved Entitlement

The survey findings could be linked to the economic challenges Western countries face and which are affecting the middle-class, the class that tends to maintain the status quo of traditional gender roles. These challenges have brought about discontent in the people of the class as they are not able to live the comfortable life their parents had lived.

Sociologists have referred to the above experience as “aggrieved entitlement”, a concept introduced by American gender expert Michael Kimmel, which refers to the anger and resentment experienced by individuals of a dominant or privileged group when they feel they are losing the traditional privileges they believe their group has been entitled to for generations. These traditional privileges include what was or apparently what is still considered men’s superior position as the provider of the family.

The postwar economic boom and the idealization of prewar traditional family values in the West during the 1950’s–60’s made it possible for men of the middle- and upper-middle class to take on the role of sole breadwinner as portrayed by Donald Draper, the character in the US TV series Mad Men (a situation similar in other Western countries). However, over the decades, stagnant wages and job insecurity, wage gaps in favor of the rich, and changes in women’s economic roles all impact on how men of the privileged group are able to take on their privileged role as sole breadwinner.

The Oppression of the Privileged

A country's struggling economy is one of the main causes of men’s loss of privileges. For example, the rise in the cost of living and housing has caused some privileged groups to feel that they are suffering from an injustice which further caused the men, especially, to feel disempowered by not being able to have control over and secure their “rights”.

The above condition has caused resentments targeted towards specific ethnic groups as individuals from some privileged groups perceive that social changes driven by factors such as changes in the population, economy, or labor market have redistributed the privileges which had been exclusively enjoyed by their families for generations. This may also be exacerbated by a leadership crisis where leaders have failed to solve economic issues which affect privileged groups.

Aggrieved entitlement reflects how patriarchal values oppress men, even the privileged.

Aggrieved entitlement reflects how patriarchal values oppress men, even the privileged, as well as women, and in some instances may even have a more negative effect on men. Nevertheless, the loss of male power by giving up the breadwinner position would disrupt the power imbalance between the sexes and the order of things maintained by the privileged groups. This power structure has proven difficult to transform by social changes that have been driven by feminism, as it serves capitalism, among other ways, by reproducing the labor force and sustaining a gendered labor market.

Thus, to prevent mental health issues in relation to financial responsibilities in the family, it is about time that in socializing children, society introduces values that do not promote traditional gender roles. However, for any fundamental change to take place that would lead to equality, changes that could transform the patriarchal family structure and the class structure in society are what’s needed, which of course is not within the scope of this essay.

-Some Thoughts from the Cappuccino Girl- (2024)

You might be interested to read: Political Strongmen and the Crisis of Democracy

#gender #labor #work #sociology #class #men #mentalhealth #wellbeing #breadwinner

Image: Mad Men Parodies (Pinterest)

Sources

ABC News Australia (2024) 'Growing concerns cost-of-living crisis is influencing the rise in extremist views.' YouTube. https://youtu.be/yhb3br85mGs?si=8sWHRFIXlBzweuky [22 March 2024].

Bankole, Sam (2024) 'Joey Barton, Aggrieved Entitlement, and the Myth of White Male Privilege.' The Oxford Student. https://www.oxfordstudent.com/2024/01/17/joey-barton-aggrieved-entitlement-and-the-myth-of-white-male-privilege/ [23 March 2024].

Bode, Nicole (2017) 'Why men are (still) expected to be the breadwinners.' Ladders. https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/report-fewer-men-ever-breadwinners [24 March 2024].

Kowalewska, Helen (2023) ‘Male’ and ‘breadwinner’—breaking the link.' Social Europe. https://www.socialeurope.eu/male-and-breadwinner-breaking-the-link [23 March 2024].

Kutsch, Tom (2016) 'Men who act as breadwinners face negative health effects, study finds.' The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/money/2016/aug/19/men-breadwinners-health-effects-wellbeing [24 March 2024].

Pew Research Center (2017) Americans say a man should be able to support a family financially but don’t say the same about women. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2017/09/20/americans-see-men-as-the-financial-providers-even-as-womens-contributions-grow/ft_17-09-20_spouses_americanssay/ [24 March 2024].