Love and geopolitics often intertwine in heartbreaking and unforgettable narratives, whether legend, fiction, or real-life accounts. These stories are typically entangled in ethnic and religious conflict, ideological divide, and forbidden romance framed by identity politics—elements that render resolution unforeseeable.

Love Is Forbidden

Some true love stories are carved into time through poetry and become not only the legacy of a people but also a defining part of their history. One such story is the love affair between the late renowned Palestinian poet Mahmoud Darwish (13 March, 1941—9 August, 2008) and the Jewish-Israeli young woman he fell deeply in love with in the early 1960s. A woman whom he refers to as “Rita” in his poems—a name that echoes across two decades of his artistic career, shaped by imprisonment, political estrangement, and exile.

In his 1969 poem Rita… Love me, Darwish reflects on the impossibility of their love:

Love is forbidden… Here the police and fate are antiquated Shattered are the idols that you revealed your love

Another passage from the same poem expresses the pain of loss:

Sleep on my dream. Your taste is acrid Your eyes are lost in my silence And your body is full of summer and beautiful death. At the end of the world I embrace you When you withdraw full of the impossible.

Their forbidden love could not survive the political tension it was engulfed in, especially after “Rita”, whose real name is Tamar Ben-Ami, joined the Israeli army—a decision which ended their romance. Nevertheless, intimate love letters Darwish wrote to her in Hebrew—kept secret for decades and later revealed in the documentary, Write Down, I am an Arab (2014)—stands as a testament to how love, ruptured by political and ideological divide, is silently endured.

This silenced love is reflected in the famed 1966 poem, Rita and the Rifle, where Darwish writes:

Oh, the silence of dusk In the morning my moon migrated to a far place Towards those honey-colored eyes And the city swept away all the singers And Rita. Between Rita and my eyes— A rifle.

The death of the romance, plagued by political violence and civil surveillance, impacted Darwish’s art. The love he held for “Rita” remains alive through his poetry, echoing across generations.

Betrayal and Forgiveness

Betrayal potentially arises in a love affair entangled in geopolitics and ideology. One such case is the well-known affair between German-American philosopher Hannah Arendt (October 14, 1906–December 4, 1975) and her professor, the influential yet controversial German thinker Martin Heidegger (September 26, 1889– May 26, 1976). Arendt first met Heidegger in late 1924 as an 18-year-old student at the University of Marburg. Their encounter subsequently sparked a relationship that would last several years—kept discreet due to Heidegger’s marriage. Yet what ultimately shadowed their bond was Heidegger’s later affiliation with the Nazi party, a betrayal that would affect both their personal connection and Arendt’s ethical reflections for decades.

It was only after their love letters were discovered in the 1980s and published that the relationship between Hannah Arendt and Martin Heidegger became publicly known, igniting intense scholarly debate. The controversy centered on Heidegger’s affiliation with the Nazi Party, which he joined in 1933—just as Arendt, a Jew, was fleeing Germany following a brief detainment by the Gestapo.

In his first letter to Arendt, written in February 1925, Heidegger confesses:

“I will never be able to call you mine, but from now on you will belong in my life, and it shall grow with you.”

A year later, Arendt had broken off the relationship with Heidegger following her move to the University of Heidelberg. However, they continued to correspond into the early 1930s. In April of 1928, a letter from Arendt reflects the depth of their enduring love:

“I love you as I did on the first day—you know that, and I have always known it, even before this reunion. The path you showed me is longer and more difficult than I thought.”

In 1929, on her wedding day, Arendt writes:

“Do not forget me, and do not forget how much and how deeply I know that our love has become the blessing of my life. This knowledge cannot be shaken, not even today ...”

She closes the letter affectionately:

“I kiss your brow and your eyes, Your Hannah”

After a long silence—likely prompted by Heidegger’s Nazi affiliation—Arendt, now in her second marriage, chose to reconcile with him in 1950, not as a romantic partner, but as an intellectual peer. This decision was triggered by their first reunion in Freiburg that same year. The posthumous publication of their postwar letters later revealed the depth and complexity of this renewed connection, leading many scholars to reexamine how Heidegger’s influence and their relationship shaped Arendt’s thought, as Adrent is considered one of the most influential political theorists of the twentieth century.

In The Human Condition (1958), Arendt introduces the concept of natality—the capacity for new beginnings. For her, human freedom is rooted in the ability to initiate anew, even in the wake of betrayal and historical trauma. Natality enables reconciliation not by erasing the past, but by narrating and accepting it, and by exercising judgment toward both past and future.

While reconciliation has its limits—especially in cases of crimes where justice demands accountability—Arendt viewed both reconciliation and nonreconciliation as acts of political judgment. Both are judgments of the past and future and thought and action. These judgments, which require one to think from the standpoint of everyone else and reflect beyond ideological divisions, open the possibility for forgiveness and reconciliation. This framework may illuminate Arendt’s postwar reconciliation with Heidegger, which unfolded through a series of affectionate and intellectually vibrant correspondences between the two philosophers.

Furthermore, Arendt envisioned a shared world of plurality, where difference and equality coexist—not a nation-state founded on ethnic exclusivity. This vision was likely shaped by her lived experience: years spent in exile as a Jew, and her conflicted yet compassionate relationship with Heidegger.

Historical Trauma: Beginning Anew

Even in the face of political oppression and ideological division, love can flourish—persisting between those on opposing sides. Darwish and Tamar’s relationship demonstrates that, in such circumstances, loving “the Other” becomes a political act. His poems have become part of Palestine’s collective memory, shaping how a people remember their past and imagine their future—how they perceive and respond to historical trauma.

In Arendt’s perspective—shaped by her lived experience—historical trauma should not justify vengeance, but rather open a path toward beginning anew: to acknowledge irreversible loss and envision the future. This suggests that even in the face of devastation, forgiveness and reconciliation are key to peace-building—actions that enable coexistence grounded in plurality, dignity, and equality within and across nations. On the ground, this entails a journey of judgment that ensures the meaningful representation of survivors and marginalized groups—including women, though Arendt does not explicitly address gender—in the processes of truth-telling, testimony, inclusive dialogue, and the honoring of collective memory. Could Arendt’s vision help address today’s atrocities?

-Some Thoughts from the Cappuccino Girl- (2025)

#history #literature #ideology #politics #Palestine #Germany #WorldWar2 #films #fascism

You might be interested to read: The Salute of Tyranny

Images: Darwish via arablit.org; Arendt by Fred Stein via deutschland.de

Sources:

Berkowitz, Roger (2017) ‘1. Reconciling Oneself to the Impossibility of Reconciliation: Judgment and Worldliness in Hannah Arendt’s Politics.’ In Roger Berkowitz and I. Storey (eds.) Artifacts of Thinking: Reading Hannah Arendt's Denktagebuch. New York, USA: Fordham University Press. https://doi.org/10.1515/9780823272204-002.

Çubukçu, Ayça (2025) ‘Arendt, Gaza and Personal Responsibility Under Genocide’, Critical Legal Thinking. https://criticallegalthinking.com/2025/02/03/arendt-gaza-and-personal-responsibility-under-genocide [11 August 2025].

McMahan, Luke (2024) ‘Rita… Love Me: A Poem by Mahmoud Darwish’, Arab America. https://www.arabamerica.com/rita-love-me-a-poem-by-mahmoud-darwish [8 August 2025].

Murray, Eóin (2008) ‘Obligations of Love, Obligations of Politics’, Poetry Ireland. https://www.poetryireland.ie/writers/articles/obligations-of-love-obligations-of-politics [10 August 2025].

Poem Hunter (2013) Rita and the Rifle—Poem by Mahmoud Darwish https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/rita-and-the-rifle/ [8 August 2025].

Popova, Maria (2016) ‘The Remarkable Love Letters of Hannah Arendt and Martin Heidegger’, The Marginalian. https://www.themarginalian.org/2016/04/25/hannah-arendt-martin-heidegger-love-letters [8 August 2025].

Puspapertiwi, Erwina Rachmi and Sari Hardiyanto (2023) ‘Kisah Mahmoud Darwish, Penyair Palestina yang Jatuh Cinta pada Perempuan Yahudi.’ Kompas.com. https://www.kompas.com/tren/read/2023/12/08/133000065/kisah-mahmoud-darwish-penyair-palestina-yang-jatuh-cinta-pada-perempuan?page=all#page2 [8 August 2025].

Wasserstein, David J. (2012) ‘Prince of Poets’, The American Scholar. https://theamericanscholar.org/prince-of-poets [10 August 2025].

POPULAR TOPICS #subculture Gurlesque: Poetics of the Bizarre, Ugly, and Feminine #films Mrs. Robinson, Countercultures, and Politics #history The Dutch Golden Age, Golden for Whom? I also write articles here: https://feministpassion.blogspot.com/

Early in the morning of the special day, the noise and bustle of families getting ready echo through the open windows of the building. Quickly, Antonietta pours the coffee already waiting on the stove, brings the filled cup to the table—between the uniforms she had just ironed—to add some sugar. Now with cup, saucer, and teaspoon in her left hand and uniforms draping on the arm, she walks to each bed to wake the kids one by one. While taking small sips of coffee from the spoon, she hands each child their uniform. Finally reaching the last bed—the sixth and biggest—she wakes her husband and hands him the coffee. The rounds are not over yet. Next to Papa, buried under the covers, is their youngest!

This is the special day, all of Rome are getting ready for the parade. Not Antonietta, however, even though she is a big supporter of Il Duce. Her wifely duties do not allow her the luxury to spend a whole day out of the house, unlike women who have domestic helpers. Antonietta will miss the historical moment Il Duce welcomes German fascist leader, Adolf Hitler, on his seven-day visit to Italy.

Hitler’s visit to Italy on May 3rd, 1938 was a significant moment in the history of fascism. Despite the fanfare, Mussolini or Il Duce, as he was called, did not agree to a military alliance with Germany. Nonetheless, after this visit, Mussolini began introducing laws which marginalized Italy’s Jewish people.

Having stayed home, on that special day Antonietta experienced a life changing moment. Whilst trying to catch her escaped bird, it was when she by chance met her neighbor, Gabriele, who lived across her apartment building. The bird had flown near Gabriele’s window while he was at his desk, contemplating suicide. After an exchange of visits on that day, she learned that Gabriele was a radio broadcaster who was fired and will be deported to Sardinia. His crime: being gay. Unlikely as it may seem, the two instantly connected. They both learned of each other’s life and their different views of the government, and as the story unfolds, the odd couple fell in love.

This is the storyline of the critically acclaimed Italian film A Special Day, directed by Ettore Scola and produced by Carlo Ponti. Released in May 1977, starring Sophia Loren and Marcello Mastroianni, the film received many awards, including the César Award, Golden Globe Film, and Nastro d'Argento, in addition to two Academy Award nominations. Interestingly, Mussolini’s granddaughter, Alessandra Mussolini was cast in the film.

Through the events of one day, the film gives a daunting picture of life under fascism. The omnipresence of the ruler in daily life is interwoven into the narrative and through the background sound of the parade taking place.

The story revolves around Antonietta (Sophia Loren), a low-educated, lower middle-class housewife. She is the image of the ideal Italian woman under fascism—an admirer of Il Duce, a devoted housewife and mother; a devotion extended to the state. “I have six children”, Antonietta said as she introduced herself to Gabriele (Marcello Mastroianni). “By the seventh, they will give you a bonus.”

The government gave prizes and compensations to encourage women to bear many children with the aim of increasing the Italian population and army reserve. Single men, like Gabriele, in contrast, were taxed.

Antonietta’s husband (John Vernon) is the typical Italian fascist male of the time—the breadwinner and savior who treats his wife like an inferior being and has affairs with other women. Nevertheless, like the beloved Italian woman of the time, her family and the kitchen are the center of Antonietta’s life. From the kitchen table she would gaze out the window while pouring the remains from other cups into her cup—never really having her own cup (or life), except during Gabriele’s visit. Il Duce is present in family life through his picture that overlooks the kitchen. How the occupants are able to see each other through the windows is an extension of state surveillance.

“You forgot to take this,” said Gabriele, who suddenly appeared at Antonietta’s door, holding The Three Musketeers, the book which he had recommended earlier to Antonietta. He ended up coming inside and grinding coffee beans (and spilling some on the floor) for the cup of coffee Antonietta had offered. Then came a knock on the door. The caretaker (Françoise Berd) had come to warn Antonietta about Gabriele, who she knew was visiting Antonietta.

However, Antonietta was smitten by Gabriele, a liberal, antifascist, and gay radio broadcaster on the verge of suicide.

However, Antonietta was smitten by Gabriele, a liberal, antifascist, and gay radio broadcaster on the verge of suicide. How they made love, considering Gabriele’s sexual orientation, is open to interpretation—except for the conclusion that Antonietta had changed him. In fact, it was Antonietta who was changed by this encounter as she now sees fascism in a different light.

The film, however, did not fully capture the public life of Italian women under fascism. Although confined to domesticity, thousands to millions of women were enrolled in government-created women’s organizations.

In line with the state’s gender ideology, many women’s organizations focus on maternal health issues and care for newborns. However, these organizations were not merely a campaign to mobilize female supporters. They served an important purpose in reducing Italy’s high infant mortality rate, which was at 106.2 deaths for every 1,000 lives in 1938—the highest in Europe. Mussolini believed that a rapid increase in the Italian population could be achieved by banning contraception, illegalizing abortion, and establishing mass women’s organizations, where women worked to assist other women to improve hygiene, health, and nutrition.

From this view, fascist policies which excluded women did not completely isolate women from society.

From this view, fascist policies which excluded women did not completely isolate women from society. Women, in fact, had an important social role within the fascist framework, whilst any role was absent in the previous liberal state. Although these organizations controlled and limited women’s role as reproductive machines, in their own way, they empowered women. It was the first time any assistance of the kind, which improved women’s knowledge and skills about health and maternity, included women of all levels of the society. Nevertheless, the effectiveness of these organizations is debatable and despite a nationwide propaganda to promote the nobleness of motherhood, the population did not significantly increase and many women continued to work because of necessity.

All in all, A Special Day depicts how fascism penetrated into the private sphere, controlled and oppressed the individual, as reflected in the lives of Antonietta and Gabriele. She was treated as the chattel in the battle for population; he, the male degenerate.

In the evening of the special day, the authorities came for Gabriele. While gathering his things, he accidentally found a few coffee beans in the pocket of his suit. Slightly bewildered, he took a quick glance across the window. Minutes later, from her window, Antonietta watched as Gabriele leaves in the night escorted by two men. She was reading aloud the first few pages of The Three Musketeers—the political tale he left her with.

-Some Thoughts from the Cappuccino Girl- (2023)

#films #cinema #Italy #fascism #history #gender #worldwar2

Read about modern political strongmen: Political Strongmen and the Crisis of Democracy

If you are interested in how population polices affect women, read: Only Women Breed: Population Policies and Gender

Images: Cult Film trailers: https://youtu.be/KloWrqcHAF0

Sources:

Cavendish, Richard (2008) ‘Hitler and Mussolini Meet in Rome.’ Historytoday https://www.historytoday.com/archive/hitler-and-mussolini-meet-rome (Accessed 22 January 2023).

Monti, Jennifer Linda (2011) The Contrasting Image of Italian Women under Fascism in the 1930’s. Syracuse University Honors Program Capstone Projects. 714. https://surface.syr.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1706&context=honors_capstone (Accessed 26 December 2022).

POPULAR TOPICS #subculture Gurlesque: Poetics of the Bizarre, Ugly, and Feminine #films Mrs. Robinson, Countercultures, and Politics #history The Dutch Golden Age, Golden for Whom? I also write articles here: https://feministpassion.blogspot.com/

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me.” That is one of the most famous lines from Hollywood’s classic, The Graduate (1967). Through Benjamin’s (Dustin Hoffman) relationship with Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft)—a young fresh graduate with a bored middle-aged, middle-class housewife turned seductress—the movie tells a story of a noteworthy period in American history.

Following the postwar economic boom and increase in population, in the 1950s young middle-class couples moved from the overcrowded cities to new housing areas in the suburbs. These homes, equipped with new efficient home appliances, particularly in their kitchen design, were dubbed the “typical American house”. In 1959, Nixon once tried to enlighten Soviet leader, Nikita Khrushchev about the dishwashers directly installed in these houses. Nixon claims, “In America, we like to make life easier for women.”

It was during this Cold War period that the ideal white middle-class American family consisting of children, a male breadwinner and housewife was part of a political propaganda. In the US Cold War propaganda abroad, gender ideology played an important role to establish capitalism’s success over communism through the image of the Western middle-class, breadwinner-housewife nuclear family.

In fact, in the 1950s, the term middle-class Americans was more of a political term rather than an economic term, as political scholars have pointed out. The term was used to refer to an American identity associated with a set of values, a specific lifestyle, taste, and culture. This was marked by the rise of a consumer culture and a culture of conformity. It was against this setting that counterculture movements began to emerge.

The counterculture movements criticized the establishment, class divisions, education, gender norms, as well as the family and marriage institutions. The movements' dissatisfaction with American society is reflected in The Graduate through Ben’s journey to leave his dull privileged-life and break free from society’s conventions.

The story line reflected the hypocrisy of the privileged life in the comfortable suburban homes, which confined women to domesticity. In her research published in her book The Feminine Mystique (1963), Betty Friedan revealed that behind the doors of many seemingly happy suburban homes, lived an unhappy educated housewife who was discontent with domestic life. As much as the counterculture movements, such as the Beat and hippie movements, appear to offer a kind of sexual revolution—women—as disclosed in Beat women’s memoirs, remained as sexual objects and domestic creatures.

It was not only traditional values that encouraged women to primary be domestic beings, but it was also the politics of the day. For example, political issues surrounding childcare in the US had a significant contribution to the domesticity of women. During the Second World War, women were mobilized to work due to the urgent need of fulfilling war production. To encourage and enable women to join the workforce, the government provided quality federal-funded daycare. When the war ended and women were expected to return home to make way for male employment, the daycare initiative ended, despite considerable opposition from many women.

When the need for federal-funded collective childcare was raised again in the 1960s and ‘70s, it continued to face objection, in part, because the Cold War foes use such a system, so it was deemed incompatible with American values. Nixon vetoed the Comprehensive Child Development Act of 1971 arguing that it would “commit the vast moral authority of the National Government to the side of communal approaches to child rearing over against the family-centered approach.” Thus, childcare was and is still treated as an issue for individual families—particularly the women—to cope with, rather than an economic investment that will empower women and their families. Not surprisingly, to date, the US has no adequate childcare infrastructure intact, a problem which has been further exacerbated by the pandemic.

However, as with the politics of the Cold War era, male-dominated countercultures which emerged at the time too did not want to deal with any issues that might disrupt the gender power structure too much at their inconvenience. In terms of gender equality, changes were slow. As we see, after Mrs. Robinson’s liaison with Ben, she comes back to the comfort of her suburban home, behind the doors of the domesticity that define her.

-Some Thoughts from the Cappuccino Girl- (2021)

#ColdWar #counterculture #US #childcare #WorldWar2 #gender #history #literature #films #cinema #class

More on The Graduate https://feministpassion.blogspot.com/2021/11/the-graduate-and-middleman.html More on US wartime childcare https://feministpassion.blogspot.com/2021/09/war-politics-and-childcare-in-us.html More on countercultures https://feministpassion.blogspot.com/2017/07/flapper-queens-beats-mods-and-punk.html

Sources

Dratch, Howard (1974). The Politics of Child Care in the 1940s. Science & Society, 38(2): 167–204. http://www.jstor.org/stable/40401779 (Accessed 25 July 2021).

Friedan, Betty (1973) ‘Up from the Kitchen Floor.’ NY Times. https://www.nytimes.com/1973/03/04/archives/up-from-the-kitchen-floor-kitchen-floor.html (Accessed August 22, 2020).

Krasner, Barbara (2014) ‘The Nuclear Family and Cold War Culture of the 1950s.’ Academia. https://www.academia.edu/9926751/The_Nuclear_Family_and_Cold_War_Culture_of_the_1950s (Accessed December 21, 2019).

Maragou, Helena (2015) Lawrence R. Samuel, The American Middle Class: A Cultural History. Review https://journals.openedition.org/ejas/10458 (Accessed 14 November 2021).

Punch, David A. (2018) The Graduate: Symbolism in Film. https://medium.com/@DavidA.Punch/the-graduate-symbolism-in-film-a549ef9882c0 (Accessed 21 November 2021).

The Kitchen Debate-transcript 24 July 959 Vice President Richard Nixon and Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev U.S. Embassy, Moscow, Soviet Union. https://www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/docs/1959-07-24.pdf (Accessed August 16, 2020).

POPULAR TOPICS #subculture Gurlesque: Poetics of the Bizarre, Ugly, and Feminine #films Mrs. Robinson, Countercultures, and Politics #history The Dutch Golden Age, Golden for Whom? I also write articles here: https://feministpassion.blogspot.com/