elilla & friend’s very occasional blog thing

interaction (Mastodon): @elilla@transmom.love

A friend has invited us to talk about our religion, and while I love to talk, this is one thing where talking feels so unsatisfying. I want to describe my religion like this:

  1. Ask the nearest terreiro to join a gira.
  2. Feel the beat of the drums.
  3. Get possessed.
  4. Spin skirt.

(credits: Hell-Queen Pombagira via Bruxo Malagueta)

…as a typical folk religion: a thing you do, not a set of beliefs in your mind. Umbanda people don’t have theological discussions, we share HOWTOs, ‘this pombagira herbsbath is wild, you gotta try it!’. If you’re curious about what it’s like, what I really would love to do would be to sit with you and browse a bunch of songs, rather than intellectualising what is of the body. I want your heart to beat faster. This is our religion doing possession at its most organised and respectable, which is ‘not very’ lol:

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Focusing on things that come up frequently and I don’t see explained that often.

(beta/draft, about halfway through, comments welcome @elilla@transmom.love .) (current version: 2021-05-10 22:58 CEST)

Ok what is a masto?

Like Twitter, but in the 🌌✨fediverse✨🌌.

(>.>) and what’s the fediverse, silly

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As an addendum to the 4 spells of mirror magic for trans people. This one is not trans-specific; it’s a facial method of scrying, and will show visions of personal significance to the querent. Their interpretation is up to you, and should be based on your own knowledge, memories, fictions and feelings.

🪞 To See New Faces In The Mirror 🪞

Do this in a room that’s completely dark, like a bathroom at night with a window that can be shuttered. You’ll need 3 candles and a timer. For grounding afterwards, have at hand a glass of water or tea, and something to eat (cake or bread work great, or anything made of whole grains, or potato).

Clean the mirror well, and stand in front of it. Set up an area behind you where you can safely light up the 3 candles. Clean this area well, bring the candles, and adjust their position so that you’ll be able to see your reflex clearly, candlelight like an aura around yourself – but the candlefires themselves must not be visible within the frame. Turn off any other sources of light, like any electric lights outside the door and over the house; you want no light reflecting from the mirror but the candles, through you. Set up the timer for 9 minutes.

Once preparations are ready, light up the 3 candles, turn off the light, lock the door, and start the timer.

While approaching the mirror, touch your hand to your reflection’s. Stop at a forearm’s length, look into the mirrorself’s eyes, and breathe deeply, three times. Without breaking eye contact, let your hand go down. Keep looking into the eyes. You’ll begin to see things. Nothing you see can harm you. Do not look away.

To end the experience, thank anything you’ve seen in the mirror, flick the lights on, put off the candles with wet fingertips (don’t blow), and go drink and eat.

Shamanic music or entheogens can intensify this experience. If you want to explore scrying, do this periodically and take note in a diary of what you see each time.

The following spells face dysphoria heads-on. #3 deals with the deepest insecurities one may have about identity. This practice can feel very uncomfortable, sometimes downright terrifying. Please take care, and be sure to have access to your support network before trying your hand at mirror magic.

Photo of a costumed Japanese actor before a mirror
Noh theatre has shamanic roots, and the ‘mirror room’ before a performance is still a place of adorcism. Photo credits: Kanzan University Kanze Club.


A spell to break the curse of the assigned gender

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Binary femme perspective on the psych ramifications of gendering for people with strong gender feelings. Originally written to self on a bad night as an exercise in positive self-talk, lightly reëdited.

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Dear enbies, ladies, eunuchs & everybody who’s curious about what does an orchiectomy look & feel! I have made you 〜illustrations〜

Content warnings first: This is personal, diary-like, with me going on and on about my own feelings and experiences; because I think that’s, in a sense, more informative than a bare objective report, and it’s the kind of thing I missed when I was researching to decide whether I should do an orchi. This text has nude photos, including detailed images of convex genitals. I am (mostly) not dysphoric about my genitals, and will use positive words about them. There’s a discussion of genital dysphoria, marked. I’m not posting lewd videos in this space, and I tried to make the photos illustrative rather than erotic, but some stuff came out somewhat lewdish anyway because I love my body and what can a girl do? There are close-up photos of the healed scar, and broad discussions of surgeries; but no pictures of blood or graphic details about medical stuff. I will discuss sex stuff in a clearly marked section at the end. The list of topics is: looks and anatomy, panties & tucking, dysphoria & walking, hormones, sex stuff.

And here’s an unrelated picture so that scrapers won’t put a photo of my genitals in preview thumbnails.

A completely random photo of a woman using scissors to cut off her cherries.

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(Spoilers for She-ra planetary background lore.)

In She-Ra and the Princesses of Power season 1 episode 2, we see a door locked with a password readily available in a First Ones inscription, Moria-style:

Screenshot of the door from S01E02, its inscription annotated for phonemes. ‘Eternia’.

In season 2 episode 2, we see in the floating ruins of the Watchtower a variant, not just of the same word but of the same design – recall that the First Ones Script (FOS) allows a significant degree of æsthetic freedom – except it reads not quite Eternia, but ‘Etelnia’:

Note the lack of the dot in the ‘r’ lozenge glyph, rendering it ‘Etelnia’. The inscription is also upside-down in this photo, which is easily explainable by the fact that it’s shown from the point of view of a horse.

We can hardly imagine that the technologically advanced, highly literate First Ones would have misspelt the name of their home planet (a name of obvious cultural importance since it’s used a password etc.). Moreover, the FOS for /r/ is the same as /l/ plus a single dot; were it a mistake, it would be easily fixable ad posteriori. No, there is absolutely no chance that somebody somewhere has simply forgotten to add a dot to this design. We must assume the variant is real.

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