The lesbian gaze and lesbian lust
I think the sapphics I know can be classified more or less cleanly into those who are attracted to women's bodies, and those who are attracted to women more generally.
The one type feels lust for the female form, in the sense that the secondary sexual characteristics typical of estrogen (curves, thighs, soft skin, breasts, girlsmell etc.) will trigger something in their own body that causes attraction and longing. By contrast, the other type isn't really attracted to bodies at all, but rather to, like, entire human beings with regards to conversation, shared interests, sexual compatibility, trust in bed, mutual kinks etc. They just happen to prefer the company of women for doing those things.
This is different from being ace (in the sense of experiencing no or reduced sexual attraction) because women of the second type can very much define their attraction to other women as sexual in nature. Some I know identify as hypersexual, even. It's just that what they crave in sex isn't the materiality or shape of your body but like, what you can do with them. Maybe there’s already an ace-spec label for this somewhere, I don't know if people have a name for it.
Say, imagine I'm on a tram sitting next to a lover, and some thicc lady waltz by in a minidress exhibiting long, squishy, gloriously bare round thighs. I can immediately think of which of my partners would be drooling alongside with me, and which would be indifferent to the sights—why would anyone be affected in any way by the body of some random stranger who they know nothing about and might not be their type of person at all?, and so on.
Lesbians of the “drooly” variety often have had to struggle with a guilt and doubt stage, like, do I really like boobs or am I just being brainwashed by the overload of male-gazey imagery of a patriarchal society, am I objectifying women and being as bad as men, etc. This reluctance is usually cured when you figure out that a lot of other girls are desperately yearning for some feminine eyes to please ogle their breasts, and for certain other fem-on-fem interactions involving their breasts.
Within the second type of woman, many (but not all!) have described themselves to me as being “functionally lesbians” – like, since she doesn’t care for the body of her partner either way, she would potentially be open to dating men, too. If she ever finds a chill, kind, emotionally mature man who neither pedestalises her nor treats her as therapy-maid etc. Ooor she can just go and date women. So, in practice, lesbian. (Protip: if you want to explore bisexuality but struggle to find men who are cool, there's a lot of them from this country → 🏳️⚧️ )
Speaking as a serial top, many bottoms enjoy being aware of my attraction to their bodies but aren't particularly attracted to my body, or to women's bodies generally, at all. Their thing is to lie temptingly and be taken, or to follow orders, or to fail to follow orders and get punished, or whatever it is that does it for that particular woman. This isn't a bad thing for me, it makes me feel like I'm reliving a traditional butch/femme dynamic (with the classic butch top preferring not being touched) and even though I'm not like, a butch, I get good feelings when exploring that dynamic. I'm a sucker for tradition after all x3
And like, it's not that the “conceptual” type of lesbian doesn't make me feel desired too. It's just that they desire other stuff than my body: my company, my conversation, my devotion, my skills in bed, my overly syrupy affectiveness and/or sadism, and so on. But it's still special for me when my physical, carnal, sweaty type of lust can be reciprocated, too; when I put on a slutty dress and can feel her flush and getting distracted from conversation in public, or when greedy soft hands grab my thighs on the way home, or when I'm doing her from behind, and I draw closer and press my breasts against her back and it provokes that little shudder in her hips, that sharp intake of air… Yes I am yearning for her and for her again, yes I'm like that every day, why do you ask…?
