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Bed-Wetting – When Cures Can Be Worse Than the Disease

There are many issues in psychology that both interest and puzzle me but there is one in particular that I am especially curious about and interested in-people's attitudes toward various management techniques for nocturnal enuresis (the clinical term for bed-wetting) particularly in older children, adolescents, teenagers, and adults Hybrid mattress. Although this is not a psychological issue per se; how people react to, interact with, and perceive individuals using protective garments to manage their bed-wetting has psychological ramifications for these individuals. Depending on how other people respond to the incontinent individual the ramifications can be either positive or negative. I have read a fair amount about this subject and this article is a distillation of this knowledge.

This article discusses my thoughts and feelings on the stigma associated with the use of diapers to manage bed-wetting, a brief discussion about the different types of diapers to manage bed-wetting, how to deal with the possibility of teasing from siblings, various ways to deal with the stigma associated with using diapers for bed-wetting, psychological techniques a person can use to help him or her come to terms with using diapers to manage bed-wetting, ways to be discreet about diaper use and bed-wetting, and ideas I have for a reward system designed to encourage a reluctant youngster to wear diapers to bed in order to more effectively manage his or her bed-wetting. This article is long but I feel it covers a lot of useful information for both bed-wetters and their parents. The article is broken down into several sections for easier reading. The introduction discusses various treatments for bed-wetting and why in some cases they can be worse than the disease, the second part is called “Types and Brands of Diapers to Use” and is an overview of the various diapers available to manage bed-wetting in older children, adolescents, teenagers, and adults. This section also lists various companies that sell these diapers and their contact info.

The third part is called “Reasons for the Stigma Surrounding Diaper Use in Older Bed-Wetters” This section discusses what I feel are the reasons behind the stigma associated with using diapers in older children, adolescents, teenagers, and adults that wet the bed and ways society can reduce the stigma, the fourth part is called “Will Wearing Diapers Decrease the Motivation to Achieve Dryness?” There is a theory that wearing diapers for bed-wetting will decrease the incentive to achieve dryness. This section discusses why I feel this won't be the case. The fifth part is called “Thoughts on the Development of Our Ideas Regarding This Issue.” The sixth part of this article is called “How to Encourage Older Children, Adolescents, and Teenagers to Wear Diapers to Bed and Other Issues.” This part offers several strategies and methods a parent can use to motivate and encourage a youngster who is reluctant to wear diapers to bed. In addition the section talks about issues of discretion and psychological techniques a youngster can employ to help them cope with wearing diapers to bed. Finally there is part 7. This part is called “Should Parents Require Their Older Child, Adolescent, or Teenager to Wear Diapers to Bed?” This section discusses why I feel parents should require their bed-wetting youngster to wear diapers to bed. It also talks more about how to approach them about this topic and how to encourage them to wear diapers to bed.

Introduction-When Cures Can Be Worse Than the Disease

Bed-wetting for many youngsters can be extremely traumatic-there is the potential for teasing from siblings and other family members, punishment from parents, and the possibility of their peers discovering it especially if the youngster wants to attend sleepovers.

Although many cases of bed-wetting can be cured using medicines, alarms, and other methods there are cases of bed-wetting persisting into adult years. In fact many adults suffer from bed-wetting their whole lives. The statistics vary but anywhere from 2 to 3% of adults wet the bed. Due to the negative image associated with enuresis we should consider the possibility that these figures might be significantly higher. Just as some rape victims are reluctant to report their rape because they feel ashamed, many adult bed wetters could be reluctant to see a doctor because of the shame they are experiencing. The reason for this shame is the perception shared by a large number of people of bed-wetting as a child's disorder. The adult bed wetter realizes the negative public perception of bed-wetting and as a result, many adults don't seek treatment and resign themselves to wearing diapers at night.

Bed-wetting it seems carries more of a stigma than other forms of incontinence. Why this is so is puzzling to me. While younger children are not immune from feeling embarrassed about this condition it seems that the older one gets the more embarrassed one feels.

Due to the stigma associated with nocturnal enuresis there is tremendous pressure with most people to cure it, and while I believe that a person should consider different methods to cure their bed-wetting and be open to trying new treatments when they become available, there are a number of factors that should be kept in mind. First of all, it can sometimes be more distressing and embarrassing going to countless doctors and specialists and having endless tests and procedures done without success. Second, there are many instances of people trying a wide variety of treatments to cure their bed-wetting without success and unfortunately there may always be circumstances in which the bed-wetting can't be resolved for whatever reason.

Transportation Services and Modes of Transport

In human evolution, the earliest means of transport were walking, running and swimming. Before the Industrial Revolution and modernization, water transport was the most efficient method of transporting large quantities of goods over long distances though it was very slow and expensive. The importance of water transport led to the growth of cities along rivers and sea-shores where boats, canoes and ships could dock Nearest Truck Stop.

The domestication of animals and the invention of the sled gave way to early animal transport services. Horses and oxen were used from as early as 3000 BC to transport goods and humans and traveled over dirt tracks. Later civilizations such as the Mesopotamian and the Indus Valley built paved roads for easier transport.

The Industrial Revolution of the 19th century turned transportation on its head. It was the age of many inventions that fundamentally changed the concept of transport. Communication, telegraphy, the steam engine and the steam ship sped global transport in all directions. Land transport became possible over large distances without the application of animal or human muscles. The Wright brothers' successful experiments with aircraft paved the way for airplanes and air transport became a faster way to transport goods and people in shorter time-frames to further destinations.

Modes of transport

A 'mode of transport' is a method or solution that uses a particular type of infrastructure, operation and vehicle to transport people and cargo. A mode can be used by itself or in conjunction with several other modes; in this case it is referred to 'intermodal' or 'multimodal' transport. Each is distinct from the other and is used based on choice of factors like cost of transport, route taken, capability and so on.

  1. Human-powered – this is the most common in developing and under-developed countries because of several factors like savings on cost, accessibility of location, physical exercise and environmental reasons. Human-powered transport is a sustainable form of transport and has recently been enhanced by the use of machinery and modern technology – e.g. cycling, skating, rowing, skiing which are extremely useful in difficult environments.

  2. Animal-powered – whether ridden by humans or used as pack animals for movement of people and commodities, animals can work alone or in teams – e.g. mules, horse-carts, dog-sleds etc.

  3. Air – airplanes and aircraft have reduced travel times considerably and is the fastest mode of passenger and goods transport. High costs and high energy use are the downsides of air transport; however, it is estimated that over 500,000 people travel in aero-planes at any given time.

  4. Rail – Railroads and rail tracks run the length and breadth of every country in the world ferrying people and goods from place to place. Although they involve the use of large amounts of surface land, rail networks provide easy connectivity options within cities, within countries and between different countries as a mode of public transport- e.g. New York City Subway, London Metro, Eurotunnel or the Chunnel between England and France and the Euro Rail.

  5. Road – road networks pass through cities, towns and villages and provide better connectivity options in addition to city rail networks and are ideal for public transport also. Road transport is entirely different from other modes as it allows a vehicle user to have complete freedom over speed, direction, timings of travel and change of location that other transport methods cannot provide. They require large surface areas, use high energy and are quite expensive.

  6. Water – water transport includes barges, boats, sailboats and ships through canals, rivers and seas. The earliest boats and ships were routed through inland canals for transporting people and spices. Today large passenger and cargo ships provide an organized and efficient transportation method. Although the time involved is long, water transportation is significantly less expensive than air or road.

FSBO Thought For The Day: Get Lawyered Up

Get lawyered up when you first consider selling the home, yourself! The biggest mistake, homeowners make, in the very beginning of planning to sell their home is to not obtain the benefits of an lawyer (and better yet a real real estate lawyer) to council with and to draw up the original sales contracts for you, or your attorney to fill out (if they haven't explained to you how, or if you're uncomfortable filling them out, use the attorney to fill it out) and for your prospects to fill in their particulars and sign Business Trusts.

Now most people watch late night (or early morning) t.v. and those real estates investors that make “millions and millions of dollars flipping their own real estate”. They offer you free advice, to you, that you should go to the local Office Depot, or your local Walmart & Office Max and somewhere in the back of the store you will find, land contracts for sale, or wills & other “generic legal documents” that will suffice for selling your home.

Now, I'm sure they're generic and I'm sure that they might pass the smell test to sell a car, or a boat. Actually, in those contractual arrangements, you won't be putting yourself up for too much liability, but a home, think about it?

A car, or a boat, what's the financial liability for you, if the buyer's check bounces, or those hundred dollar bills turn out to be counterfeit? Or let's say they let you keep their “gold watch (you know the kind I'm talking about)”, until Friday (when they get paid and then you can cash their check), what happens then, Boobey?

According to most legally trained people, you're screwed! All documents are not the same. The ones you buy at the local stores are generic, in other words they'll work for both, the buyer & the seller, both parties are equally protected and both parties are held liable (it's gonna cost them something, equally).

THERE IS A BETTER WAY FOR YOU, THE SELLER: There's a good reason why an attorney goes to three, or more years of school, than do “normal” college graduates. They study, practice and learn from experience how to protect you from that “nefarious buyer”, the one that's out to get you and enrich, themselves.

A home can be thousands of dollars, on the cheap side and millions of dollars on the high end, if you were to meet up with a stranger offering you a “great deal” for your home and you had a “worthless” contract, to sell it, you can be paying those dollars back to your mortgage company for a long time.

Now you can be sorry and you can try to get the Mortgage company to cut you some slack, but if YOU didn't protect yourself with a “legal contract of sale”, guess what their answer will be?

And once that deed has been done, you can't go back and redo that contract, so best (for you) to get it done properly, in the beginning!

Besides, most generic contracted forms lean toward the buyer and against the seller and even most “real estate, or REALTOR” contracts lean toward the buyer. This is in no small part due to the state authorizing the contracts, or sales forms, and the state, obligates everyone, in that transaction to look out for the buyer (the seller is expected to be more experienced, by the fact that they have at least purchased a home before, so most buyers are thought to need protection).

Hiring an attorney will afford you many advantages, not the least of which is their forms will stand up in a court of law, if not you have someone, other than the buyer to sue for your loss. Also, most lawyer drawn contract can be written to protect the seller, more than the buyer, so that all the wording and paragraphs will be more lenient to the sellers side, which will protect you.

Finally, most lawyers will allow to talk to them and ask them questions, which they can answer for free, usually for the first hour. That way you can decide for yourself, whether they can accomplish for you what you think you might need and not spend a whole lot of money in order to satisfy your curiosity.

What to Look For in a Divorce Lawyer – How to Choose Wisely

With the changes in family law over the last 30 years, including the adoption of equitable distribution in place of the old common-law rules, the adoption of laws protecting military spouses, and the adoption of support guidelines and various local rules promulgated within the various circuits, the area of separation and divorce has become much too complicated and specialized for someone who does not regularly handle these types of cases. It distresses us when clients come to us with poorly drafted separation agreements, and/or decrees which other inexperienced attorneys have handled. Just as it is better to win at trial than to have a great appeal issue, it is much better to have the right attorney, one who will get it right the first time, than to have to pay someone to fix problems stemming from errors made in the first place. Sometimes the errors are very costly and cannot be fixed as shown in the series of articles I wrote for The Family Law News, a peer review publication of the Virginia State Bar, Section of Family Law, entitled “Costly Errors in Multi-State Military Divorce; Or a Military Wife's Tale of Woe,” which are published in the Fall 2007 and Spring 2008 issues of the publication Naggiar & Sarif family law attorneys.

The series of articles outlines the legal authorities, strategy and procedural points we used to successfully defend a military retiree, who was a veteran of the Vietnam War. His ex-wife was attempting to obtain half of his military retired pay and spousal support here in Virginia, despite having divorced him six years earlier in Hawaii. While we are always happy to achieve a successful outcome for our clients, we felt sorry for the ex-wife, who had received poor legal advice from hr attorney in the original divorce action in Hawaii, advice that lead to poor decisions which the Virginia Court found to bind her permanently. In ruling for us in the case, the judge told the ex-wife that instead of suing her ex-husband, show should go after the attorney in Hawaii who represented her in the divorce.

So, how do you go about finding a good divorce lawyer? Here are a few suggestions:

Suggestion #1-Ask a Lawyer

If you know a lawyer, ask him/her for a referral to a good divorce lawyer. He or she will probably know someone or several someones who devote a significant portion of the practice of law to separation and divorce and related issues. For example, I have been handling separation and divorce for 30 years and have an excellent reputation among the local legal community. Any divorce attorney worth his/her salt should have established a reputation among other lawyers. Lawyers generally know who is good for a particular type of case; they certainly know who they would see, if they were facing separation and divorce.

Suggestion #2-Yellow Pages/Internet

While not a great source of information, the Yellow Pages and internet can be a beginning source of attorney names. Lawyers who do not mention separation, divorce, military divorce, and related areas like custody and support or property division, are not seeking cases in those areas and certainly don't devote a significant portion of the practice to those areas. Be leery of ads that include a laundry list of everything under the sun. Remember the old saying, “a jack of all trades and master of none”? Wouldn't you rather have someone who takes the time to focus at least a significant amount of time to family law, than someone who maybe devotes 3% of his/her practice to family law issues? Remember not everyone advertises in the Yellow Pages or haw a website or internet presence.. For example, there are more telephone listings than there are attorney ads in the Yellow Pages.

SUGGESTION # 3-VIRGINIA LAWYER REFERRAL SERVICE

The Virginia Lawyer Referral Service is operated by the Virginia State Bar. Lawyers must ask to get on the list and must agree to a fixed fee for an initial consultation. A lawyer can be listed under any category he/she asks for. The names are on a rotating list and given to consumers who contact the service. Again, not all attorneys are listed. We are not listed with the referral service. This resource can provide the name of an attorney who is seeking family law cases. This does not mean that the attorney is an expert in these types of cases or that he/she is experienced. All it means is that he or she is seeking divorce cases. Be sure to take the questions I talk about here to the attorney interview.

10 Ways to Keep Divorce Lawyers From Ruining Your Life

Everyone has heard the story (from friends, co-workers, and family members) of the divorce from hell; the one that grinds on for years, costs untold thousands of dollars, and frustratingly plods its way through the court system. It costs people not only their marriage, but often their children, their savings, and their emotional well-being, as well. Unfortunately, many people going through a divorce end up hating their lawyer, and more commonly, hating their spouse's lawyer. It doesn't have to be that way. You can get a divorce without letting lawyers ruin your life. Using the ten tips outlined below will make a huge difference in the way your divorce progresses. It's hard to behave rationally as you navigate this painful process, but the vast majority of people find the strength to get through a divorce without losing control of their emotions or finances. You can control the process and guide the matter to a successful solution, leaving your financial situation intact and allowing you to meet your needs now and in the future Atlanta Divorce Mediation Services, LLC.

The reality is that lawyers are people, and like people, there are some awful ones out there and a few wonderful ones. When you hire an awful lawyer (one who creates conflict rather than resolving it, one who makes your divorce worse, rather than better) everybody involved suffers. You suffer, your spouse suffers and your children suffer. Well, not everybody suffers. The awful lawyer doesn't suffer, so it's important to do everything possible to avoid hiring that lawyer, because that's the only sure way to keep divorce lawyers from ruining your life. Here's how:

  1. Don't hire the wrong lawyer. The lawyer you hire makes a tremendous difference. Use common sense in the selection process. Be observant, ask questions, and don't hire someone if you don't feel good about your interaction with him or her. Here are some things to think about in an initial meeting with a lawyer: 1) does the lawyer have a direct dial phone number? You can assume that if you have to go through a secretary or paralegal to reach your lawyer, you will have a harder time reaching him or her; 2) watch out for a messy office; if the lawyer is disorganized you can assume your case will be disorganized. If you see other clients' documents sitting out in public view, you can know that your documents will soon be sitting out in public the same way; 3) make sure the lawyer has a written client agreement that ensures that you understand your fees, rights and obligations; 4) don't hire the dabbler – someone that does a traffic ticket case in the morning, a real estate closing in the afternoon and squeezes your case in somewhere in the middle; divorce is complicated enough that you should hire someone who does it all day long, every day; and, 5) don't hire a lawyer taking on more cases than s/he can handle; ask the lawyer what his or her average caseload is. Handling more than 15 or 20 cases at one time causes most lawyers to become overwhelmed and ineffective. Thinking about these issues when you meet with a lawyer for the first time will help you make the right choice.

  2. Don't let a judge decide for you. The minute you (or your spouse) go to court and ask a judge to decide your divorce for you, you give up nearly all of the control you have over the process. If you want to keep your money instead of giving it to a lawyer, and if you want to maintain control over your life, DO NOT LITIGATE. Go to court only as a last resort, only if all else fails. Try negotiation, try mediation, try collaborative divorce, try settlement conferences but do not litigate. You may win at trial, but at what cost? Will you be able to dance with your former spouse at your child's wedding? Probably not. Litigation is destructive, expensive and gut wrenching. Litigate only if you have no other option. Litigation is, unfortunately, necessary in some cases. There will always be people that just can not agree no matter how hard you try. Reserve litigation for the most desperate situations.

  3. Do hire a collaborative divorce lawyer (and get your spouse to do the same thing). Now you know you want to stay out of court. Do you want your situation to be resolved as efficiently, effectively, and successfully as possible? Of course. That's the way collaborative divorce lawyers handle divorces. In a collaborative divorce, everyone involved (lawyers and clients) signs a written pledge to keep your case out of court. This keeps everyone involved truly focused on reaching a mutually beneficial agreement, without threatening costly and destructive litigation.

  4. Don't hire a mediator without getting legal advice first. Often, people think that hiring a mediator is a substitute for hiring a lawyer in trying to resolve their divorce. The critical mistake these people are making is this: mediators can not give legal advice. Their role is only to help people agree; the drawback is that they may help you agree to something that you would not have agreed to if you had sought legal advice first. Timing is everything here: using a mediator can be effective in resolving a divorce, you should never, ever hire a mediator without first obtaining legal advice from a lawyer whose only role is to represent your best interests. In fact, any good mediator will insist that you go and get legal advice before any agreement is reached, anyway. If you choose to mediate your dispute, get the legal advice before you begin mediation. It is more efficient and safer.

How to Select the Right Home For Sale While selecting a right realtor, be it for a home for sale or buying a home, you have to consider a number of factors as these will finally determine your decision. You should evaluate every aspect while choosing the realtor luxury homes in scottsdale Arizona. When you gave a Luxury Home for sale, or you are in the process of buying a home, you should have a really good realtor who will meet your standards and needs.

Ensure that your realtor has full knowledge of the business, and has a real estate license which should be active and is experienced in your area, where you are hoping to buy a home for sale. The right realtor will know your neighborhood, the prices of homes, school and other amenities in the locality, apart from his experience in real estate business. The prices of the homes can vary stupendously and it isn't enough having knowledge of the area for a right realtor.

While selecting the right realtors, you must also consider their communication skills. Not merely communicating with you about various things involved in selling or buying a home, but also how they are dealing with other realtors. The realtor you have chosen may merely list your property as Home for Sale, but doesn't really sell it, so you should ensure that the realtor is in good relationship with other realtors of the area, and can communicate the details about your Luxury Home for Sale, effectively. He should also belong to MLS or multiple listing service, and thus his agency is a reputed and established one, which is will to actively cooperate with you to reach out to people in the field and promote the sale.

The personality of realtor is an important point when you are selecting the right realtor. The fact is that whether you are selling or buying the house, the realtor's help is crucial to you and you should know that they the realtor is looking after your interests and is a honest person in dealing with you. The right realtor should be accessible easily, and you should be comfortable to talk to them, and open to the questions whenever you are unsure of something. You must feel related to the right realtor since you will be spending time with him and discussing matters which can influence your decision in buying or selling the house. If the right realtor has a dependable personality, it will make things easier.

While selecting the right realtor, you should also look out for the enthusiasm levels, his plans to sell your house, his reputation, and whether anyone in the area has used him, who can recommend the realtor to you. When you have a home for sale, and want to hand over the job to a realtor, you should interview different agents so that you have a feel of offers from each one of them. You are hiring the realtor to help you, so only after taking into consideration all such factors you should think of hiring him.

Cell Phone Debt Collection – How to Stop Harassing Calls From Collectors Cell Phone debt can be a problem to your credit and for the most part, a complete inconvenience when the harassing debt collectors begin calling constantly. So how can you deal with the problem when you are not currently able to take care of the bill? Here is a simple overview Glass Mountain Capital.

Cell Phone debt that has fallen into collections is one of the lowest forms of debt collecting period. Compared to mortgages and credit cards in default, this is not only a simple issue to get past, but it is also simple to stop the harassing calls. Starting with the bill itself many individuals on average have literally fallen into over $800 dollars or more into debt with their cell phone provider. Firs things are first however. If you decide to start a calling plan you best be able to pay your bill in the timely manner allotted by the provider as stipulated in the contract.

Of course there are the many who end up with circumstances that are beyond their control and soon enough the mobile phone is shut off and eventually the landline begins to ring off the hook from debt collectors. There are rules however to this and can be found through the FDCPA otherwise known as the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. This act contains the any rules for debt collection agencies throughout the country and can simply be found on any search engine.

Here are some simple steps to stop the collections company from completely driving you mad. First understand that although they are by law required to stop calling after a verbal request from you, but this will not do and would not stand up in court. Sending a certified letter however with a note of cease and desist from calling will do the trick 99.9% of the time. However, if the debt collections company fails and persists on calling you simply highlight the calls to you and contact state authorities. There is a fine of approximately $1000 dollars per violation to the collection company and a means to demand they settle your bill or be persecuted.

Although you should settle what you owe, you can also request settling for a mere. 10 cents to the dollar...after all it is only a cell phone bill. Remember to understand your cell phone contract and to pay your bill in a timely manner, but if the situation arises that you cannot, remember, there are laws to help you and they are extremely advantageous.

Who Is The Best Tax Consultant Professional to Help Me With My Tax Problems?

Do you feel like you have few / limited / or no options in your tax situation? What would a tax consultant recommend if you could meet with one for an hour Sales and Use Tax?

Perhaps you just received a CP 2000 letter. Or maybe you just received a lien or levy notice. The number of situations and questions you might pose to a tax consultant could vary in scope and complexity.

“Can I discharge my debt to the IRS in bankruptcy?”

“I don't have money to pay back taxes. What can I do?”

”“I haven't kept (or have lost) good records? What do I do?”

“Will IRS take a payment plan?”

There are always options. No one is better suited to be able to assist you in exploring your best tax relief options than a qualified Enrolled Agent. Of the various tax consultant professionals available to you, from qualified accountants, financial consultants, and CPAs, when dealing with issues that involve the IRS, the tax consultant professional you are looking for is called an “Enrolled Agent” (which stands for “Enrolled Agent to Practice Before the Internal Revenue Service”).

You may have considered sparing yourself the expense of hiring a tax consultant and try resolving your tax problems on your own. Actually for a lot of people, and in many situations, this may be a good option. Responding to a letter from the IRS, or doing a correspondence audit is certainly not as involved as penalty appeals or handling an IRS audit where important records are lost or missing.

Generally, however, the reason people find themselves in a bad situation is because, for any number of reasons, they have put off dealing with their taxes until it finally caught up with them.

Why do people do that?

Here's an interesting answer to that question. Studies show that among the top reasons why people procrastinate are:

Not knowing where or how to start Complicated-task anxiety, Complex projects often seem daunting Projects that are viewed as being unpleasant If those reasons don't define “doing taxes” for most people, I don't know what does.

Other reasons for procrastinating also include:

Distractions of lack of focus Boredom from minutiae The inability to make decisions Poor organizational skills It's not likely that people who put off doing taxes for the above reasons are going to be inclined to (or successful in) representing themselves before the IRS. If you feel you have put off dealing with your taxes for similar reasons, it would make sense for you to seek professional help from a tax consultant who is a qualified Enrolled Agent.

Harassing Creditors and Bankruptcy

Dealing with overbearing and invasive debt collectors can be frustrating and overwhelming. Incessant phone calls, threatening letters; even visits to your home or work, debt collectors can be ruthless. Many people are unaware that filing for Massachusetts Tenant Law can put a stop to the all the relentless debt collection attempts.

Notifying creditors is one of the first steps that occur when filing for bankruptcy. Creditors must stop all collection letters, phone calls, pending lawsuits or any action they may be taking to collect on any debt held against you.

Stopping creditors from further attempts to collect outstanding debts is called an “automatic stay”. Immediately after filing bankruptcy with the court an automatic stay is in effect. The automatic stay remains in effect until your bankruptcy case is concluded. Creditors are not legally allowed to call you, send you threatening letters or harass you in any way, shape, or form while a bankruptcy case is pending.

Creditors can be subject to severe penalties if they break the conditions of the automatic stay. Consider the court a buffer between the creditors and the debtor. Everything must go through the court, including any objection to the automatic stay. A creditor may file what is called a “proof of claim” which is an official form used by the creditor in an attempt to get paid by the trustee or debtor. But more importantly, there is no direct contact between the debtor and the creditor during bankruptcy, and any attempt to do so by the creditor is against the law.

It is common to find debt collectors using misleading or even illegal methods in an attempt to convince a debtor to pay their debt immediately. Threatening and harassing behavior by debt collectors should not be tolerated. These collection agencies are not a special group of law enforcers and are governed by laws that prevent abusive behavior.

Some of the practices a debt collector may do, but debtors should not put up with:

Make False Claims of Authority.For example, the collector cannot threaten you with arrest or jail time.

Use Expletives. No one has to put up with harassing phone calls of obscene language.

Call Your Workplace. If a collector does call your work, inform them that you do not approve of them calling you there and they must desist.

Negatively Affect Your Credit Scoreif you file a dispute of the amount owed or file for bankruptcy.

Remain AnonymousIt is required for anyone attempting to collect a debt to state who they are and whom they represent.

Refuse to Send a Written Notice Within five days of the first phone call you received from a collector you can request that a written notice is sent. This can be useful to your bankruptcy lawyer.

10 Ways to Keep Divorce Lawyers From Ruining Your Life

Everyone has heard the story (from friends, co-workers, and family members) of the divorce from hell; the one that grinds on for years, costs untold thousands of dollars, and frustratingly plods its way through the court system. It costs people not only their marriage, but often their children, their savings, and their emotional well-being, as well. Unfortunately, many people going through a divorce end up hating their lawyer, and more commonly, hating their spouse's lawyer. It doesn't have to be that way. You can get a divorce without letting lawyers ruin your life Custodial Clipart. Using the ten tips outlined below will make a huge difference in the way your divorce progresses. It's hard to behave rationally as you navigate this painful process, but the vast majority of people find the strength to get through a divorce without losing control of their emotions or finances. You can control the process and guide the matter to a successful solution, leaving your financial situation intact and allowing you to meet your needs now and in the future.

The reality is that lawyers are people, and like people, there are some awful ones out there and a few wonderful ones. When you hire an awful lawyer (one who creates conflict rather than resolving it, one who makes your divorce worse, rather than better) everybody involved suffers. You suffer, your spouse suffers and your children suffer. Well, not everybody suffers. The awful lawyer doesn't suffer, so it's important to do everything possible to avoid hiring that lawyer, because that's the only sure way to keep divorce lawyers from ruining your life. Here's how:

  1. Don't hire the wrong lawyer. The lawyer you hire makes a tremendous difference. Use common sense in the selection process. Be observant, ask questions, and don't hire someone if you don't feel good about your interaction with him or her. Here are some things to think about in an initial meeting with a lawyer: 1) does the lawyer have a direct dial phone number? You can assume that if you have to go through a secretary or paralegal to reach your lawyer, you will have a harder time reaching him or her; 2) watch out for a messy office; if the lawyer is disorganized you can assume your case will be disorganized. If you see other clients' documents sitting out in public view, you can know that your documents will soon be sitting out in public the same way; 3) make sure the lawyer has a written client agreement that ensures that you understand your fees, rights and obligations; 4) don't hire the dabbler – someone that does a traffic ticket case in the morning, a real estate closing in the afternoon and squeezes your case in somewhere in the middle; divorce is complicated enough that you should hire someone who does it all day long, every day; and, 5) don't hire a lawyer taking on more cases than s/he can handle; ask the lawyer what his or her average caseload is. Handling more than 15 or 20 cases at one time causes most lawyers to become overwhelmed and ineffective. Thinking about these issues when you meet with a lawyer for the first time will help you make the right choice.

  2. Don't let a judge decide for you. The minute you (or your spouse) go to court and ask a judge to decide your divorce for you, you give up nearly all of the control you have over the process. If you want to keep your money instead of giving it to a lawyer, and if you want to maintain control over your life, DO NOT LITIGATE. Go to court only as a last resort, only if all else fails. Try negotiation, try mediation, try collaborative divorce, try settlement conferences but do not litigate. You may win at trial, but at what cost? Will you be able to dance with your former spouse at your child's wedding? Probably not. Litigation is destructive, expensive and gut wrenching. Litigate only if you have no other option. Litigation is, unfortunately, necessary in some cases. There will always be people that just can not agree no matter how hard you try. Reserve litigation for the most desperate situations.

  3. Do hire a collaborative divorce lawyer (and get your spouse to do the same thing). Now you know you want to stay out of court. Do you want your situation to be resolved as efficiently, effectively, and successfully as possible? Of course. That's the way collaborative divorce lawyers handle divorces. In a collaborative divorce, everyone involved (lawyers and clients) signs a written pledge to keep your case out of court. This keeps everyone involved truly focused on reaching a mutually beneficial agreement, without threatening costly and destructive litigation.

  4. Don't hire a mediator without getting legal advice first. Often, people think that hiring a mediator is a substitute for hiring a lawyer in trying to resolve their divorce. The critical mistake these people are making is this: mediators can not give legal advice. Their role is only to help people agree; the drawback is that they may help you agree to something that you would not have agreed to if you had sought legal advice first. Timing is everything here: using a mediator can be effective in resolving a divorce, you should never, ever hire a mediator without first obtaining legal advice from a lawyer whose only role is to represent your best interests. In fact, any good mediator will insist that you go and get legal advice before any agreement is reached, anyway. If you choose to mediate your dispute, get the legal advice before you begin mediation. It is more efficient and safer.

  5. Don't sign a blank check. Signing an agreement with a lawyer that calls for hourly billing is like signing a blank check. Be careful. Let's face facts – hourly billing encourages what? Billing! Find a lawyer who can tell you what your case will cost. The only way to be certain of your attorney fee is to get a firm commitment on a fixed fee. Short of a fixed fee you need frequent updates on the costs that you have incurred (if it were our money we would want daily, real-time, updates over the internet) and we would want the authority to accept or reject any action that would result in our paying more money. It just doesn't make sense to give someone the economic incentive to make your life miserable by dragging things out. Doctors don't bill hourly – they charge you a fixed fee for your office visit or your surgery. Lawyers want you to believe that they can't predict your fee. If they won't tell you how much it costs then don't buy it.