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Well, I have no plan for what to write but I need to take a break from obsessing over the timeline and waiting for a blow from heaven to fall down and bust my head open. I need to be safe. I don't know how to be calm, I can't remember what it feels like. I don't remember what to do. I don't know what normal people take for granted. I feel like an alien trying to pretend to be a human but getting everything wrong, not understanding people at all. I'm not a convincing simulacrum.
I might just kind of go with the flow as my mind is kind of reeling after watching a video about a deranged computer programmer, a true life story. I may just go with the crazy in me and write like that.
Here I'll try.
In the next post.