Open Letter to a Friend in Need – May, 2020.
I just wrote a long, from the heart, a reply;
To a new user who joined our sub for SlowlyApp at Reddit this morning.
The post started as a comment, and I wanted to cheer her and offer some advice, from someone who has experienced quite similar events; and more than once, indeed.
Upon developing the comment, I felt it had a lot to cover, to share and to explain; and that it could be helpful to others. Since I have been posting actively on my new blog, it felt like good content for a new page.
A Reddit Topic, the 1st post, from a new Reddit user and my reply to it [ Her post lightly edited — inserting line breaks for easier reading ]
“I need Advice, please”
So, one of my penpals sadly deactivated his account today. We only wrote 3 letters each but I really enjoyed talking to him. I really loved reading the letters I got from him and I loved answering them. This past week I've been really busy with school and I wasn't able to answer him.
I like to write long letters and I just didn't have the time to write one so I put it off (didn't want to send him a generic answer). Anyway, I can't help but feel a tiny bit responsible that he deactivated his account. I don't want him to think that I didn't want to answer, especially since he included a picture of himself in his last letter. I hope he doesn't think I didn't answer because of the way he looks or something.
I don't know if this is me overthinking or if that really could be the case. So why am I writing this here? Since he told me his actual name and even sent a picture it really wasn't too hard to find his social media. I kind of want to write him on there to tell him that I am working on a letter and that, should he still want to talk, he should get back on Slowly.
On the other hand, I don't feel comfortable sharing my social media with him, plus I'm afraid he's going to want to talk on there instead of writing letters (which is not something I want). What do you think I should do/not do? (Any advice is greatly appreciated)
And, yann2's reply :
Well, hello and welcome to Slowly, and to the Reddit sub dedicated to it. Great that you found your way here, as many people do share experiences, ideas, etc.
In regards to your loss, we feel the pain as most people will experience those loses – we meet great people and get close, deep conversation develops until. Something or another happens, and the person quiets down, or worse, de-activates their account.
Not much we can do to avoid it, it does happen and is usually not a good penpal's fault. I don't think he leaving Slowly was due to one late reply from you; it's possible he wasn't having a good experience, or had some bad episode with someone else. Or that work or school demands are pilling up and they need to be out to cover that.
I have experienced something very similar, and I still mourn it. :(
I have never responded to the last great letter my friend sent me, as they left Slowly and I am out of touch. One thing I considered was posting a reply letter to them, carefully written to not have any sensitive or private info, in a Blog format.
I have done that with other letters, normal ones that were full and well written, and I wanted to share and have other readers enjoy them. I received comments and good feedback from that, as well as thank yous for letting them see these.
(And as I write here, it's clear this reply will develop into an upcoming Blog post; it's just too relevant and important to be lost in an obscure corner of the Net.)
So, back to your situation, you could create a new and anonymous social media account, to send a message/letter, and mention that you really wanted to send that reply. But would prefer not to correspond over this new connection, invite them back into Slowly, even if they have to create a new account if the previous one was lost.
If they did abandon the account, for 30 days the data remains in the servers; a user has a chance to return and request re-activation, before it gets deleted forever soon.
Starting Anew :
If they cannot retrieve the account, you can copy the full text of any of the letters in your folders – it's an option in the '...' menu at the bottom left corner of all letters — “Copy to Clipboard”.
Do that, then start writing the new user account a new draft letter; then Paste in the data from clipboard, and send. I usually include a Header at the top of such a letter for reference, example :
Your letter dated May 11, 2020.
——-[ forwarded letter begins ]——-
...with these copies, a new and barren account will benefit from once again having the original letters for reference.
I do enjoy those sometimes. When time passes and a memory comes to mind, I will sometimes reach back into a particular user's folder, and read – one, two or many of our letters.
Good people make good correspondents. Good writers make for memorable moments, and content to be cherished.
Consider this, my welcome letter to you, a new friend in need.
Sincerely,
Yann2.
Header Image by Andrys Stienstra from Pixabay
Famous Last Words
Special thank you to all the folks behind the SLOWLY app.
Letters we share, with pen pals all over the world. A modern day take in the traditional penpal experience. Come and join us, using SLOWLY.
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yann2@bsky.social