When Ghosts Come Back – SLOWLY Stories
Unexpected returns
Nowadays ghosting is a common experience for most SLOWLY users, as things are getting worse it seems. New users have reported their despair with this.
Today we have a new contributor to our Blog – with an original story of 3 real life, ghost pen pals attempting a return. Originally a topic on our sub-Reddit for the SLOWLY app.
Ghosts come back
Guest Author post by nemo267, original on Reddit here.
Filed on our Sub-Reddit under the Slowly Stories Topics Flair.
Hi,
In context of the frequently discussed topic of ghosting, which many users report in the community, let me share my recent experience when ghosts come back.
I shall describe the users with name A, B, and C with whom I had varied level of pen-friendship, and who replied back coincidentally in the same week after an apparent ghosting.
The Story of A:
I sent the first introductory letter, for which I received a reply from A. These first two letters were of medium length, and we exchanged couple of mutually interesting topics which signaled for an attractive pen paling ahead. So, I wrote the third letter, a little bit longer than earlier one, with answers, new questions and topics. Well, then came ghosting...letter was read but not replied.
After a long silence of nearly 4 months, I received A's response last week, a detailed and beautifully written one, with reason for silence and mention of restarting our pen paling.
The Story of B:
This is a little bit painful and heart-breaking story. B sent me first letter, which was exciting enough for me to reply back. We used to write long letters (3 to 4 thousand words), with so many appealing topics...we continued our exchange for few months after which, I was abruptly ghosted. This created a devastating experience for me in terms of pen-palling where I started questioning my decision to invest any more time writing letters over slowly.
After nearly 3 months I received B's reply last week, a long and elegantly written letter, just like they used to write, explaining their silence and invitation to resume the penpal-ship.
The Story of C:
This is unique on its own. I sent them first letter. I tried to curate the letter based on their bio and common topics of interest. The letter kept hanging in “read” state. After 2 months, on an evening, reading a post in the community on ghosting (link here), I took the initiative to look back at my “ghosted letters” and decide to send C a polite letter mentioning the usage of “decline” option and sending good bye. It was like opening a door and then closing it by yourself, without even getting to know the person living in the room. Though it sounds like stupid, but I wanted to have a closure.
A couple of weeks passed by andin the last week, I received a short letter from C, mentioning they forgot to write back cause they don't use the app frequently, yet interested in taking if I still want.
And what to do?
Now at this point, with three separate stories bound by the common theme of ghosts coming back, I am at a cross-road. The coming back of A expresses that my last letter to them was not boring.
The return of B creates in my mind a satisfaction which was pending; and I deserved a reply to my last letter. By the way, I didn't leave Slowly after B's ghosting, and still enjoy writing letters with newly found penpals.
The story of C tells that sometimes people simply become forgetful; about the app and writing back, even if the introductory letter is attractive.
The point is, I have moved on. I liked their recent letters and the invitation to resume/initiate the writing again, but I can't find the willingness to frame a response. I simply lack enthusiasm to write back, even to B, whom I once considered very dear.
New beginnings or resumption?
Currently, I am happy with the two active penpals I have. Moreover, I don't have time to add three extra penpals in my regular recipients list at the moment. And I also fear being ghosted by them again, a risk I can't accept.
But not writing to A, B or C is giving me a vibe that I am ghosting them; which is against my principle, I prefer to send a good bye letter before parting. I am also in a very awkward situation, as I can't even write a proper good bye letter to them.
May be ghosts should remain ghosts, and shouldn't come back to life, because ghosting has already impacted the other end significantly. I may be entirely wrong, and you may not agree to this.
Sorry for the long post. Please feel free to share if you have any suggestion or such experience on Slowly.
Yann's comment
...was the first one in the topic.
Sorry for the long post. Please feel free to share if you have any suggestion or such experience on Slowly.
No need to apologize, it's a lovely post – well written and clearly explaining the situation and the outcomes for all 3 cases. Brilliant – would you give me permission to publish it as a Guest Author post in my own Blog? A valuable contribution!
Permission was granted
Which allows us to have it here. Thank you so much, /u/nemo267.
I hope you could write a Goodbye letter to those 3 people, and mention this post maybe? It could help them understand how difficult and awkward the situation can be.
While searching for images, I came across a possible reference post – The Ghost Returns! 10 Reasons Why Someone Who Ghosts You, Comes Back... 😉
Famous Last Words
Banner Photo by Jesse Bowser on Unsplash. A, B letter photo by Jason Dent on Unsplash. C letter Photo by Nikhil Mitra on Unsplash. Sunset photo by Gary Meulemans on Unsplash – all wonderful images, thank you all.
Special thank you to all the folks behind the SLOWLY app.
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