Writing Better Auto-Match Letters Userguide
A thorough, organized, logical Guide – deserves to be seen
I had commented on BinibiningRegina's original post at Reddit, and was very pleased to see the high quality of her content. And it deserved to appear here in our SLOWLY-themed blog, and receive more attention, readers. So here it is.
My first reaction
...was a brief comment I posted in her topic:
Thank you so much for this new topic! You did wonderful work, which makes it a Reference post, worthy of being added to our Master Topics List (and I will insert it right now there).
Appreciate the effort, the care in writing and presentation, the references, links – great work. Cheers and thank you!
And them her full text, with all the formatting and links originally included.
Lightly edited, titles adjusted to fit on blog width, added some images related to the text, plus some horizontal rulers, both for easier reading. Hope you find it useful. 🙂😎
How to Write the Auto-Match Letter that Welcomes Heartfelt Discussions
A Guest post by BinibiningRegina, original posted on Reddit here.
Filed on our Sub-Reddit under the User Guides Topics Flair.
WARNING: Long and extremely detailed.
SHORT STORY TIME ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE
Auto-match is Slowly's feature wherein you take a shot in the dark, and send your letters to random users. The only three details you get to know before actually sending your letters are their avatar, username, and country.
After a few weeks of using the app, I've had it turned off since I intend to use Slowly to exchange meaningful letters. Yet all I was getting from it are messages similar to instant messaging — with little to no effort visible. My reasoning isn't unique, and is shared by many users who also have the desire for longer discussions.
One day, while scrolling this SLOWLY subreddit, I came across this post by a Slowly user who gave auto-match a try. Their topic showed the letter they actually sent out, giving you an idea of how to write an auto-match letter; without resembling an instant message.
Hence, the guide you'll be reading from here on is inspired by that earlier post. I thought of experimenting with the feature, given that I had some free time back then, and here's the result of my adventure.
SUCCESS RATE OF THIS FEATURE
The chances of succeeding in finding a like-minded penpal are little to none. It doesn't help either that most, if not all, users who are into lengthy conversations have their auto-match setting disabled.
In my case, I sent out more than nine letters. Two wrote back beautiful letters and one replied a single paragraph to my seven-paragraph letter, skipping a lot of questions.
One of those two is now a favorite penpal. Most of my letters didn't get replied to until now. It's been months. And yes, if I had seen their bio prior, I would have sent my letter to a different person.
Also, here's a detailed comment I recently came across while searching the subreddit about auto-match. A Slowly user in this subreddit writes about their tips, advice, and experience regarding auto-match. It is quite old though, now aging a year as of writing this.
Another nice discussion about writing auto-match letters. You may want to check it out as a lot of people responded and the comments also provide value.
HOW TO CUSTOMIZE WHO IS RECEIVING YOUR LETTER
- Mess with the target settings. I think it's better if you don't include your own country. Choose your preferred gender, age range, and the number of recipients.
- If you have room in your contact list, choose to send to three recipients. The more people you send your letter to, the more chances of getting replied to. Plus, it's a generic letter that you can send to anyone who fitted your criteria, why not send it to as many people as possible? This can be done once a day only.
- Pick the language you're most confident in. I think this explains itself. This allows you to better write your thoughts, and you better express yourself. If you want to converse with someone in a language you're still learning, using a manual user search would be best.
- Choose advanced or above in the proficiency level of the language you're picking. Some people may have overestimated or underestimated themselves, but we're playing it safe today. It's best to hold conversations with people who can understand your words the way you do. Because we live in a world in which the abundance of different languages has created a thing called 'the language barrier' to become a reality. But if you really want to exchange letters with little to no grammar errors, select 'fluent' or 'native'.
- Pick a topic you're heavily inspired by or knowledgeable about. Sure, they may not like it in the same way as you, but at least you have more ideas to write. Creative juices flow better when you actually like the topic, or you're passionate about it.
The dreaded default stamp, not to be used – ever - Do not use the default stamp. Especially if the letter you wrote has reached an avid stamp collector, this will actually reduce their interest in replying to you. Some won't even write back. Best to use your zodiac sign or country stamp if you're still starting. If you have many stamps at your disposal, choose a stamp that is relevant to your letter or a representation of the message you're trying to deliver.
HOW TO ACTUALLY WRITE THE AUTO-MATCH LETTER THAT WELCOMES HEARTFELT DISCUSSIONS
1.) Everything should begin with an introduction. Introduce yourself, make it fun. Leave an impression and tell them you're excited to write more letters with them.
Hello there! I hope this letter finds you well.
Pleased to meet you in this lovely application called Slowly. What do you want me to call you? My name's Roselyna, eighteen years old, a native American (born and raised), and someone looking forward to exchanging more letters with you in the future. How are you doing in this pandemic? I truly hope you're at peace.
2.) Tell them about the feature you used to send them the letter. Write an auto-match disclaimer, so maybe if you have some minor lapses, they'll be able to understand.
This is a silly attempt at Slowly’s auto-match, a feature that wouldn’t let you know who’s receiving your letter until you’ve actually sent it. If you’d like to disable auto-match, you can do so in the app settings. Highly recommended if you've had enough of people sending you one to four-liner messages, wherein you can barely say anything back. There are still some people who could find you in user explorer, and maybe write in that same manner, but at least most of the 'supply' has been cut off.
3.) Since you can't read their bio, which usually states if they like long letters or not, you're left in the dark. To solve this, state the letter lengths you prefer, and their word count. Some like letters of all sizes, and people have different standards. What may be short to you could be long to another. What may be long to you could be short to another. Upon doing this, you accept the fact that if you happen to not be a compatible match, they're free, by all means, to decline the letter.
Fair warning, I like giving and receiving long letters (2,000 to 6,000 words). If that's not your style, feel free to decline this letter. No hard feelings. It is better to be declined than to be left un-read, waiting for a response that will never come.
4.) Describe the stamp you're using in the letter. If it's a country stamp, you can tell them a fun fact about it. If it's a zodiac sign, you can talk to them about zodiac constellations. If it's some other kind of stamp, tell them why you chose that stamp.
In this letter, the stamp I chose is the Statue of Liberty from my country, the United States. Its official name in English is Liberty Enlightening the World while in French, it's La Liberté Éclairant le Monde. It sits on Liberty Island, in New York Harbor, weighing 225 ton (450,000 pounds). It was gifted to seal the friendship France and USA developed during the American Revolution. The Statue of Liberty also marks the centennial of the American Declaration of Independence.
5.) There's a good opening topic that any user on the platform can relate to. Write in your letter why you joined Slowly and how you discovered it.
When I randomly stumbled upon Slowly on the App Store, I decided to give it a try – without realizing that it would change my life forever. My first account was deactivated because I felt pressured ,and didn't really know my way with the application. However, I decided to come back. The idea of typing and reading long letters fascinated me. Along the way, the sweet happiness of having heart-to-heart conversations (but not in real-time, therefore not being forced to have eye contact) and experiencing snail mail itself (digitally and at less cost) ultimately led me to make the decision of staying.
6.) If you're a person interested in knowing about different countries straight from the words of a native, ask them questions that are specific but applicable to every country. Do not overload them with too many questions, three is the acceptable maximum.
If I were a tourist, what place would you recommend to me?
What’s your favorite native food?
Does your flag have any symbolic meaning? If so, what?
7.) Now that you've shared why you're on the platform and what led you to its discovery, it's time to ask them about their story regarding Slowly and if they have prior experience with penpalling as well.
Everything has a beginning, how did you discover Slowly? Have you been doing it via snail mailing before?
8.) This is the most important part. Make sure to put a lot of thought and effort into this. Reveal the shared topic you picked. You don't know any interests the two of you also share, so make sure to say a lot regarding this. Two paragraphs are preferable and make sure not to tell them too much, some people get turned off by this.
The shared topic I picked is Science, a subject that has reigned my heart for as long as I can remember. And my very love for it has ultimately led me to desire to become a Civil Engineer, despite my poor Mathematical skills. My favorite branch of Science is Physics. It plays an important role in many of the liberal arts disciplines and contributes to society's understanding of areas such as energy, weather, medical science, and space exploration.
As a person filled with constant questions of hows and whys instead of whats, this subject had me constantly intrigued. To me, it is a fantasy existing in reality of which its elegance is only known to those who try to understand it despite its complex nature and language. The study of Physics has enabled mankind to reach heights that otherwise would only dwell in their dreams. Its greatest beauty is that a typical system can be analyzed in many different ways, which seems antithetical with each other, and yet they all yield results that are consistent with each other.
9.) To get a better idea of your penpal, inquire personal questions. I think it's better to ask thought-provoking ones instead of simple questions like, “Cats or dogs?”
How would you describe life?
What's a childhood memory that has you smile upon remembering?
Would you rather travel to the past or to the future?
10.) If you happen to be a stamp collector, ask if they're interested in a stamp exchange and if so, ask them to share the link to their collection, at the end of the letter. If the link to your collection isn't in your bio, better include it in your letter.
By the way, are you interested in a stamp exchange? If so, please share the link to your collection. Here's mine: https://app.getslowly.com/p/collection/Pn4bb8Gm3x.
11.) Assure them that you can wait for their reply and that they don't have to feel pressured in writing immediately. This could avoid being declined, if the person thinks they can't immediately reply, or write back as soon as possible.
You don't have to immediately reply to this. I understand that we have a life outside this application, and life can sometimes be difficult. Unlike any other social media platform, here in Slowly, we take things slowly. Take your time and if this letter sparked an interest for a reply, write back whenever you're comfortable. If not, no stress about it. It can't always be a perfect match and that's okay.
12.) Finally, close the letter.
Thank you for reading. Stay safe. I hope you and your family are doing great. Have a nice week!
Hoping to hear from you soon, Roselyna
PRO TIPS YOU MAY USE
BEST TO USE AUTO-MATCH WHEN: You feel rather inspirational about a topic you are eager to share, and perhaps have your passion talked about with another person.
AN EXTENSION OR KEYBOARD THAT CAN HELP YOU WITH ENGLISH GRAMMAR: Google's Grammarly extension and Grammarly keyboard for phone users is a writing assistant that reviews spelling, grammar, punctuation, clarity, engagement, and delivery mistakes in real-time. It uses AI to identify and search for an appropriate replacement for the mistake it locates. There's both a free and premium version.
SUPPOSE YOU DON'T LIKE THE FACT THAT ALL THE USERS ARE IN THE SAME COUNTRY: You can always change one of the three: age range, gender, and language proficiency. You can also change all three at once. It produces different results.
OTHER IDEAS YOU CAN ALSO TRY: State a random fact about your country, ask them what's the highlight of their day or week today, or share one crazy thing that happened to you.
IS AUTO-MATCH BETTER THAN MANUAL SEARCH?
In a thousand ways, no.
When you're searching manually, you can see their bio and read it. That is the most important thing people consider. As for me, the next thing I consider after that is their Sent:Received Ratio. 1:1 is ideal, but if the received ratio is higher than the sent ratio, I think you have low chances of being replied to and vice versa.
Other bonuses I consider:
Country// If it's a new country I don't have a penpal yet, sweet. The more diversity, the better.
Joined Date// You have higher chances of a person not deactivating their account if they've been in Slowly for months.
Topics of Interest// There are two fundamental things I, most of the time, want my penpal to have. That is reading and writing. I click better with people who also share these interests.
ORIGIN OF THIS POST
This is a refined and even more detailed post of the comment I made three days ago in another topic asking how to write auto-match letters. u/yann2 suggested making it into a new topic, so here it is.
I hope it's useful, worth the hours, and can at least be used as a reference for new users, those who frequently use the feature, or just people looking to venture auto-match.
Open for feedback and thoughts.
Famous Last Words
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