Pen Pal letters shouldn't depend on Questions
A response to a fellow Slowly user on reddit
Their topic is new, and already received various replies back – the question they asked resonates with people, we have likely experienced similar situations.
I know I have, and I commented and shared some thoughts, suggestions and links to example letters I wrote and later published.
Plus, an example of a dysmal 'letter' which was a last straw in one of my penpals correspondences.
“I feel like I'm too dependant on questions”
Original topic written by HappierBackThen (Filed in our subreddit under the Questions & Answers Flair.)
So, what I mean is, I'm one to try and keep things going. Keep the river flowing if I could put it like that. And part of it is asking questions. It breaks my heart when I get nothing back. When all I get are answers and that's it.
If not for the questions I ask what would their response be made up of? I can go on about myself, that's easy, but it feels off doing so without showing interest in the other person. Like how they're doing. How they feel about something.
I'm left thinking, what the hell do I write now? I can look past it sometimes, and tough it out I guess, summon everything I've got to make a letter interesting but, eventually I tap out.
Am I in wrong for ending things based on that alone? Getting no questions back.
My reply?
I am not a big fan of 'questions and expected answers' for letters.
Prefering a more conversational style, when I write I think of the reader as someone sitting here, across from me in the other sofa, and write as I would speak to them. This has worked well for me, and I do get compliments from some good pen pal friends, including some that are writers and have published works.
I have published some of my own personal letters, sans any private bits, here in the subreddit, under the 'Slowly Stories' Flair. And also in my Blog, where they will be at their very best, illustrated and with links to additional references, etc.
Word can express so much
A good letter, pure text with the occasional link dropped in, should stand on its own; a good piece of writing will likely impact and be recognized as such.
The Top posts list on my blog contains 6 personal letters that were converted into Blog format – just look for the ones with 'Letter' in the page title.
The current situation you are in is not pleasant, and it's time to search for better correspondents, I would say; look at the people who posted here in our Pen Pals Wanted topic, or do a User Explorer dive, you will certainly find nice people there.
Good luck, friend. 😎👍
EDIT : and why not, this is one of my favourite letters and won an Editor's Choice award at Slowly Stories.
And a counter-example
This one being a 'letter' I received from a now ex-penpal.
This screenshot gives the whole idea – the whole message is 40 Words long, and contains no less than 4 questions which would take me a lot of effort to reply to, in my usual thorough mode.
I found this underwhelming in extremis — and barely could motivate myself to write back.
Eventually I did, and used 'Quote portions' of their own message, inside my reply letter; both to motivate me to write, and as an experiment – hadn't tried until then.
Quotes are helpful
I posted this on Reddit, and later as a Blog post which has been popular too.
It worked, for me at least. The recipient never replied, as I think some of my sarcasm hit the spot. Not a real loss, because the above message could be a sure sign of Low Effort and time to part ways, no?
They saved me writing another letter later, which would be of the 'Goodbye' type.
A goodbye, or pen pal departure letter. Think about it, it's a courtesy your friend deserves. Have a look at this model, and adapt, edit, or write your own to suit.
But do send a Goodbye letter – remember the Human at the other side of that screen.
And that's it for today, a shorter post than usual. 🙂 But I hope you find it interesting and useful. Feel free to send comments, via direct message or a post in our Subreddit too.😉
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