Overthinking the apocalypse

The thing hidden in the sword.

Is it, like, samurai zen meditation or something?

Flower Diary: The lost diary of a young lady. Advanced magical theory mixes seamlessly with youthful ponderings.

Been thinking a lot about luddism lately, in part because the social media addiction synergises so competently with the mental fatigue I was left with after my last bout of covid. and I have been thinking about things like:

The other day I was reading Emily’s Inheritance, which deeply disappointed me because it's that bait-and-switch where a story that looks like fantasy ends up getting sci-fi rationalisations, and as a fantasy enjoyer that ruins it for me.

But in addition to that it's also straight, like not in any particularly invasive way, just by default. And thinking about that as I read, I understood why I obsess so much about that sweet sweet rep ever since stories with lesbians in it became a thing that I can access.

I was describing to someone the way that charming little European cafés are absolutely the ideal environment for me to write my thesis (as long as I leave cellphones and other devices home), and how I was getting a hell lot of text written, until I budgeted and realised the degree to which my family very much cannot afford me going every other day to charming little European cafés. And how silly I feel at my inability to replicate, at home or in public libraries or parks or anywhere else, the whatever-it-is that makes the café environment work so well for me.

Based on my unreasonably obsessive dives into the themes of Asellus from 1997 SaGa Frontier, background lore, prototype concepts, multiverse ideas from gatcha games etc. etc. (1, 2), this is how I'd make a more fleshed out Asellus chapter as a SaGa Frontier mod, if I was able to make mods. Of course this is tailored to my personal interpretation of the texts, but I do not mean it as purely creative fanfic; everything is motivated by my understanding of abandoned concepts and underlying themes.

I thought I would make an analysis of how SaGa Frontier uses a lot of kendō terminology, but Sevon already did most of the job. I still have a few remarks and I sent them as a comment, but I'm saving a copy here in case Wordpress spam moderation silently eats my comment or something.

Fig. 1: Kirikaeshi, a kendō exercise (＊写真はイメージです).

Assorted mysteries that passed my mind while writing the analysis of lesbian themes in Asellus' plot. Heavy spoilers for everything in SF1.

White Rose: Look, Lady Asellus! It's the new T-shirt for Asellus' chapter! Isn't it cute? Asellus (internally): Dammit, right on her squishies… Red Turnip: Girl you look great in this! Very fresh! Asellus (internally): Red Turniiiipppp…!! (Fan comic: Sugiyama Daria (Dah) on Pixiv.)

The other day I was reading The Yuri-ika special issue on yuri culture (Yuri-bunka no Genzai; #12, December 2014), and thinking of how there was a period when some people cared a lot between distinguish pornographic vs. non-pornographic pop-media, and in the West “yuri” was used for the porn side of the divide, while in Japan “yuri” was the non-porn side.

Later I found online a Japanese list of yuri movies, and included is Queen Crab (2015) by Brett Piper, which focuses on the relationship between a woman and her giant killer crab. Which I concur, it's totally a yuri movie. But that made me think of how many different definitions of “yuri” I've seen, usually trying to delineate a specific feeling by contrasting it with some other type of sapphic fiction.

Stardew Valley is a Harvest Moon fangame but it superseded Harvest Moon in every aspect, plus it's finally gay so it wins by default. But I don't like how maximalist it is. Now the Bokumono series itself had already become a spreadsheet game when Stardew came out, so I don't exactly blame it for that. But looking now at the original SNES Bokumono, I am impressed by how much much it manages to evoke the feeling of idyllic farm life with minimal elements; a perfect hit of good pixel art, moody seasonal themes, tight little gameplay mechanics, and just enough little things to discover to keep you hooked until marriage or so. It achieves a whole lot with very little, because the very little is well-placed; as a result I feel like I can wrap my head around the game, in a way I can't with Stardew and most farming games, including later Bokumono.

I have a lisp on /s/ that comes out only occasionally. It's not the common one where it sounds like the English “th” in “think” (/θ/), but some darkened, wet variant. Probably a lateral lisp ([ʪ]), but who knows.

Like I can't know because I can't do it on purpose, it’s both unconscious and sporadic. Worse yet, when it does come out, I’m completely unable to hear it—unless I'm recorded doing it by accident and listen to it later, then it becomes obvious. And that's the story of how my speech dysfunctions taught me important lessons about phonology.