Preamble: Words have meaning. Grammar signals meaning. Pay very close attention to the title. I worded it the way it is for a reason. Make sure you understand what I actually wrote in the title, instead of what you wanted it to read, before moving on. Note also that much of the discussion here is based on Chinese sources because—get this!—only Chinese sources have anything meaningful to say about what a term “really means”. Westerners trying to claim what it “really means” are just making idiots of themselves and revealing more about their thought processes than they reveal about Chinese ones.

A capsule history of 白左's proper meaning

In 2010, the pseudonymous “Li Shuo” coined the term 白左 (lit. “white left”) on the social platform Renren in an article titled “The Pseudo-Morality of the Western 'White Left' and China's 'Patriotic Scientists'”. At birth the term referred very narrowly to young western leftists who sympathized with the communist revolution pre-1949 and came to China to assist it. It was very much a pejorative term but it was very specifically applied to a very small number of people.

It was also a term that came from a self-identified right libertarian. Put a pin on that. We're going to circle back around to this.

As is usual in language, and doubly so in the modern Internet era, there was a rapid shift in meaning, starting in about 2013. It no longer referred to this one, specific group from history, but rather became a generalized label. The implied criticism morphed into the subtext of people out of touch with reality; people who spout lofty ideals while being blind to the real-world problems around them.

The big explosion in usage started in 2015 as bewildered Chinese netizens watched the social fallout from the refugee crisis in Europe. It is unfortunate that, from my perspective, they derived the wrong conclusion from this, criticizing, for example, Germany's “open door” policy as a case of bleeding-heart saviours ignoring reality to everyone's detriment. (Note: I don't think that Germany handled the crisis well, but I don't reach the conclusion that some Chinese netizens reached that Germany shouldn't have accepted the refugees at all.)

This big explosion continued in 2016 as bemused Chinese observers divided on which was worse: Hilary Clinton's so-called “political correctness” or Trump's populism. (Note: both were considered bad. They weren't deciding on which they supported, they were deciding on which of the two was the worst.) In that period, 白左 finally settled in a relatively stable meaning as a criticism of western identity politics.

Now let's add the wrong meaning

Here's where we circle back to the origin. In 2017 the term was added to the Urban Dictionary with an already divergent meaning. It was largely correct, but it already contained the seeds of how the term would be read in the west: right wing. UD rapidly had definitions added that included equivalents to “libtard”, “woke”, and other very American views on life. This is the unfortunate product of people not understanding several key things and instead focusing on the first use of it by a self-proclaimed libertarian right-wing guy.

However it wasn't until 2021 that Tucker Carlson's use of the term to attack Democrats that 白左 became part of mainstream western political discourse. Ironically on the right wing. (I find it personally hilarious that a 电视脱口秀演员 like Carlson, a veritable 流量奸商 or 右壬, didn't introduce other terms from Chinese that were as harshly critical of the right like 川建国 or 懂王 being used to describe Donald Trump. It's almost as if he was cherry-picking Chinese criticisms of the west to only attack one side. Almost.)

This is why most westerners believe that Chinese people are right-supportive. Because one Chinese political epithet that was poorly-understood and badly-translated was weaponized by the Anglophone right and used as an unsubtle bludgeon against their opposition. All while ignoring the far less subtle open critiques of the American right.

For purposes of this essay we will be sticking with the correct usage. And if you don't think the Chinese usage of a Chinese term used in Chinese net haunts is the correct one, get out of here. This blog isn't for you. I'm sure there's some white supremacy sites you'll like better. Like Faux News or the New York Times. Or maybe Storm Front.

Note: I'm not saying that study of the term's evolution and abuse in Anglophone circles is not a valid field of study; that's sociolinguistics in a nutshell, in fact. I'm saying I'm focusing on the Chinese usage of a Chinese term because the abuse of language by barbarians is out of scope. (Yes, the use of “barbarians” is a joke.)

The interesting spin-off

While the American left was reacting badly to the American right weaponizing a foreign term that neither side fully understood, the Chinese use of the term, with the rise of 网左 (Internet left) as a concept, started to be applied domestically as a criticism of overly dogmatic Chinese leftists. Observers tracking trends in Chinese cyberspace consistently document 白左 and 网左 appearing across political discussions, with trend reports confirming this usage as recently as late 2025. Being branded 白左 was in effect saying “you're so dogmatically left that you're like a white person”.

So a term that started life as a criticism of a historical group of people by a right-libertarian, that then mutated as a criticism of perceived impractical leftists in the west (getting internalized at that stage by the west), and then mutated further is now a domestic criticism of Chinese people by Chinese people.

But ... why? Why is this term so long-lived and so adaptive?

Here's where I get personal

The reason is ... white people don't really have a great reputation in non-white circles. It's a shock, I know, but you don't. And yes, right now, I'm addressing white folk. Even the white folk that have “good intentions”.

See the problem is that a whole lot of white people have good intentions. But they also have a degree of arrogance that is staggering. It was white people, for example, who set back queer culture in China, losing three decades of careful diplomacy that was paying dividends in recognition and acceptance ... until an arrogant LGBTQ+ group in the USA convinced a group in Shanghai that a pride parade, one that didn't have permission from authorities, was how you get results.

And they weren't wrong. There were definitely results. And the queer community in China has suffered for it nationally. About 40-70 million queer people (according to UN-aligned estimates), who were finally making positive steps toward recognition and acceptance, are back being suppressed, closeted, and and viewed with intense suspicion and revulsion. The only thing that hasn't been reversed as a result of that disastrous American intervention is the medical position on homosexuality, et al. We're thankfully not reverting back to the stage where being queer is a mental disorder that can be “cured”...

Did they mean to do this? OF COURSE NOT! Hell, I'll go a step farther. They weren't the whole reason. Rather like how there's a whole host of machinery inside a gun that has to work in concert to expel the bullet from it, there was a whole host of public security frameworks and public opinion shifts that were part of the sudden reversals in LGBTQ+ rights in China.

The thing is, that machinery in guns needs a trigger to be pulled to put it into action and send that bullet on its way. And the same was needed for the sudden shift in LGBTQ+ rights in China. The Shanghai affair was the trigger. The Chinese state, in its modern form and in much of its imperial past, has operated on a simple premise: unsanctioned public confrontation is not a tactic of persuasion, but a challenge to authority. The methods of response have shifted; the underlying logic has not. The pattern is consistent across history: method matters as much as or more than the message. Even when the state was leaning toward acceptance of queer culture, despite the already dubious status it had as “foreign ideological infiltration”, the open defiance of holding a public protest without permission was a uniquely potent trigger that led to the sudden, drastic, tragic reversals.

The sad fact of the matter is that good intentions and five bucks gets you a small coffee at Starbucks. What matters is outcomes, and the outcomes of the 白左 set are largely negative. The “white left” believes that just being “in the right” is enough; they're generally living in safe environs (by world standards) and think they know things better from their cruising altitude of 30,000ft than boots on the ground.

They're very much a model of people out of touch with reality, who think that having their heart bleed is enough for them to be a force for good, who ignore reality in favour of ideals and slogans. They're the Red Guard, in short. They spout slogans and ideals, without regard to physical reality, and leave misery and death in their wake.

On the title

The title of this rant is On the toxicity of “白左” or “white left”. Note that it's not the white left. It is the quoted term.

That, in the end, is what this essay is really about. Yes, it contains vituperative criticism of white “liberals” and “progressives”. (And, naturally, of the white right.) But I want to focus back on the term. I am, quite self-awarely and ironically, using the term to diagnose a pattern even as, starting now, I warn against its reification.

I've explained why the term has proven so long-lived and adaptive. But the more important question is: should it be? It gained traction because it described a real phenomenon. It was short, pithy, and largely accurate from the perspective of its original users. And it could be deployed across a wide variety of contexts.

That, however, is precisely where the problem lies. Its adaptability allows it to serve legitimate criticism of a genuine political tendency, but it's just as easily wielded as a bludgeon by the Western right (but who cares about barbarian duckspeak?)¹ to attack ideological opponents: “See, even Chinese netizens think libtards are bad, LOL!” And it's used, too, to beat down sincere leftists who need guidance in praxis, not dismissive labels and silencing. Its very pithiness makes it, in my view, a textbook example of Orwellian “duckspeak”: catchy, universally deployable, but ultimately a substitute for thought.

It becomes an excuse to shirk our duty to educate, to guide, and to build toward a more coherent, humane future. Just like the sloganeering of the 白左 themselves.

---

¹ I will personally send 500g of my favourite tea to the first person who figures out this deep cut of a joke!

Trafik Kazası Kusur Oranınan İtiraz

Sistemlerin her zaman kusursuz çalıştığına dair o tuhaf inancımız, ufak bir trafik kazası geçirip de Tramer sisteminde “Yüzde 100 Kusurlu” ilan edildiğimiz gün paramparça olur. Bir makine, yoldaki o görünmez çukuru, karşı tarafın sinyal vermeden şerit değiştirmesini veya o anki fren refleksini göremez; sadece kağıttaki iki boyutlu krokiye bakar ve faturayı size keser.

Hukuk ise makinelerin bu kör noktalarını düzeltmek için vardır.

Hatalı bir kaza tutanağının faturasını ödemek zorunda değilsiniz. O %100'lük ağır kusur oranını, bağımsız bilirkişiler ve Sigorta Tahkim Komisyonu aracılığıyla değiştirmek mümkün. Olayın sadece metal bir çarpışma değil, bir hak arama mücadelesi olduğunu unutmayın. Sürecin nasıl işlediğine dair harika bir yasal döküm arayanlar için şu kaynak çok ufuk açıcı: https://www.tuvahukuk.com/trafik-kazasinda-kusur-oranina-itiraz/

#hukuk #trafikkazası #hakaramak #tazminat #tramer #adalet

Did I fall for the elaborate scam, even when I had a inkling that it likely is? – Update – I did.

Coming back from office yesterday (9th April) evening around 8.30 pm, as usual, I had my earphones plugged in listening to a podcast. I was just 10-15 minutes away from home walking on the footpath. A man approached with a usual pitiable expressions and said something in frail voice, which I couldn't understand as I had earphones in, and being apathetic that I am, I just passed by ignoring. After going few steps ahead I thought let's just check if he needs monies or information or something else. If he asks for money, I am out. I can try to help with information.

Once upon time, when I was waiting at a bus-stand, I had dodged a scam by offering to get a man a meal when he claimed to have stuck in Bengluru who refused the meal after walking with me for few minutes towards a restaurant. Point being, I was kind of ready and confident that I can dodge these kinds.

So I went back, he was around the same place only, but I noticed a woman and a girl child with him. I asked him “What? What do you need?” He said, “Hindi, hum marathi, hindi samazega kya?” (Here onward we spoke in Marathi only, following is English translation.) Me: “ohh, then let's talk in Marathi only. I can understand.” He: “wow, you have met like a god, no one here is understanding the language or helping. We had came a couple of weeks back here from Hyderabad and we worked at the construction site for last two weeks but contractor betrayed and is not paying a dime. It is now not possible to feed ourselves here, we are going back home but do not have means to carry out the long journey.” The accent seemed little familiar. Me: “Where do you want to go?” He: “Washim, Akola.” Now, to give a little context, Washim is just an hour drive from my hometown and thus I know area a little too well. I am at least familiar with major town names, have directional sense. I immediately thought to myself, how coincidental? Maybe I can probe more and make sure about the details. But being from nearby area there was already the development of a soft corner. He was winning, without even trying. Moreover, having traveled multiple times by train I know the how hectic and long the journey can be. It is a more than 24 hrs and there is no daily direct train to Washim. Me: “Where in Washim?” He: “Aasegaon Pen” I had in recent past visited Lonar crater and coincidentally a family friends in-laws are from a village named Maslaa Pen. That village was basically in-route from the Lonar to hometown. So I remembered the name well. Me: “Is it near Maslaa Pen?” (Because of same suffix, that was an obvious guess) He: “Yes, there is Karkhana (factory) there”. There was puzzled look on his face, probably saying, how do you know so better. Me: “I am from Pusad” They all got relieved hearing that. He reiterated that I have met him like a god ( now I think that could have worked too well). He: “I am embarrassed to even beg like this with (in front) of wife and a child. Never thought I will have to see this day.” And few more lines on the same line. The woman also pitched in now. She: “My sister was given to (married to a guy from) Kali Tembhi, but after her passing away we are estranged now. There is not much connection. (My guess, Kali Tembhi is supposed to be nearby Pusad, I am not particularly aware, there are multiple Kali nearby.) I think, by this time, I had already decided subconsciously to help, but still wanted to do more checks. Me: “So how are you going to go now?” He: “There is a train to Nanded at 11.” Me: “Hmm, it will take 24 hrs to reach” He: “Yes. Then from there another train to Washim and then bus to Aasegaon Pen” Me: “We have family friends from Maslaa pen, surname is Deshmukh” I got my phone out and searched for Aasegaon Pen on google maps. It showed around where I had hoped it would, and I also searched for Maslaa Pen and it was nearby, the details were checking out. I asked for the phone number, he gave a number, I called that number, that rang but it wasn't his handset. No one answered. That was a red-flag. He said, he might have made a mistake. Then he asked for my number and rang my number. I asked if he has UPI, he said he does not. I still copied the number and checked on the Gpay, and at least it was not registered there. I asked for name – he said – “Sunil Pawar”. Now I have saved this as 'Sunil Pawar Scammer? Aasegaon Pen', and the number is 9075998790. He: “See help as you can.” He did not specifically ask for money or food or anything. Seeing that it is already around 9pm and train scheduled around 11.30pm, it was not prudent to offer dinner at some nearby restaurant, cause in here, it takes at least 1.5 hrs to reach railway station by city bus. I was still not so sure, and I remembered I only have a couple of hundred rupees notes in my pocket. He repeated the same sentence again a couple of times. The woman chiked in that it is already late and they need to reach station also. This was a case of 'an appeal to urgency' I did spot that and it did raise a red flag in my mind but I guess the my emotional self had already took over, I took out the pocket got 2 notes out. Told them I have only this much right now. I was kind of glad also and guilty at the same time, I wasn't so sure of my decision. Gave him the notes, told him I will call you to check if you reached. I immediately took the leave, thinking about the encounter. I thought, even if fraudster ₹200 is not going to kill me and make him millionaire, anyday better than indirectly giving away to some Vantara island. Make-believe to feel better about oneself. ₹200 in (अक्कल खातं) learning account.

I did call that number a day later and later 2 times also, it rings but no answer. I was earlier not inclined to put out the number in the post, but I guess I don't care about the privacy of the individual.

Mercedes-Benz Aracınızı Neden Sıradan Bir Tamirciye Teslim Etmemelisiniz?

Otomotiv dünyasında teknoloji o kadar hızlı ilerliyor ki, geleneksel tamir mantığı artık iflas etmiş durumda. Özellikle bir Mercedes W205 (C Serisi) veya W213 (E Serisi) kullanıcısıysanız, aracınızın aslında tekerlekleri olan devasa bir bilgisayar ağı (CAN-bus sistemi) olduğunu bilmelisiniz.

Mekanikten Elektroniğe Geçiş

Eskiden bir arıza olduğunda usta motoru dinler ve sorunu bulurdu. Bugün ise durum çok farklı. Örneğin, dizel bir Mercedes'te AdBlue sistemi veya NOx sensörü en ufak bir hata verdiğinde, motor kendini korumaya alır ve aracı çalıştıramazsınız. 9G-Tronic şanzımanınız vites atarken hafif bir vuruntu yapıyorsa, sorun dişlilerde değil, şanzıman kontrol ünitesindeki (TCM) bir yazılım adaptasyon kaybında olabilir.

Bu tür sorunları çözmek için elinizde İngiliz anahtarından çok, gelişmiş yazılımlara ve lisanslı donanımlara ihtiyaç vardır. “Arıza lambasını söndür, yola devam et” mantığı, lüks segment araçlarda geri dönülmez ve on binlerce liralık beyin hasarlarına yol açar.

Nokta Atışı Teşhis ve Doğru Müdahale

İşte bu yüzden, Ankara'da Mercedes'iniz için bir servis ararken dikkat etmeniz gereken en önemli kriter, servisin teknolojik altyapısıdır. Küresel otomotiv parçalarının en büyük üreticilerinden biri olan Bosch'un standartlarını taşıyan bir servis, aracınızın dilinden en iyi anlayan yerdir.

Orijinal Bosch KTS arıza teşhis cihazları kullanarak, tahmine yer bırakmayan, nokta atışı çözümler sunan ve gereksiz parça değişimlerinin önüne geçen Mercedes Bosch Servis Ankara hizmetleri, aracınızın yazılımını ve donanımını korumanın en akılcı yoludur. Yüksek mühendislik ürünü olan aracınızı, o mühendisliğin gerektirdiği donanımla buluşturun.

Mercedes-Benz Aracınızı Neden Sıradan Bir Tamirciye Teslim Etmemelisiniz?

संदिप खरेंची माफी मागून सादर करीतो

#विडंबन प्रत्येकाच्या घरामध्ये एक तरी (भोंदू)बाबा प्रत्येकाच्या डोक्यावरती घेतला त्याने ताबा प्रत्येकाच्या जीवनामध्ये कुठली तरी चिंता प्रत्येकाच्या डोक्यामध्ये कसला तरी गुंंता प्रत्येकाच्या पत्रामध्ये दोषारोप नशीबा

प्रत्येकाच्या डोक्यामध्ये ओसंडून भक्ती प्रत्येकाच्या प्रश्नावर लगेच यांची उक्ती प्रत्येकाच्या व्याधींकरता यांच्याकडे थांबा

प्रत्येकाच्या आश्रमी उत्पादनांची जंत्री प्रत्येकाच्या खिशाला स्वतःहून कात्री प्रत्येकाच्या तर्कावर यांच्या उलट्या बोंबा

फिटावेत जर तरी शब्दांचे देणे एक तरी विडंबन असे लिहावे बहाणे प्रत्येकाच्या पानी कशी विशुद्ध प्रतिभा?

Securing the Future of Real Estate Investments in Türkiye 🇹🇷

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#PiLC #InternationalLaw #RealEstateDispute #InvestmentStrategy #TurkeyLaw #Wordsmith #LegalWriting

Flower Diary: The lost diary of a young lady. Advanced magical theory mixes seamlessly with youthful ponderings.

Been thinking a lot about luddism lately, in part because the social media addiction synergises so competently with the mental fatigue I was left with after my last bout of covid. and I have been thinking about things like:

• Social media as a coping mechanism for loneliness, and ultimately for the existential question, for the impermanence of every human action (screaming into the void et cetera).
• The fragility of supply chains and electronica generally (cf. RAM/SSD shortage due to spambots, Israel war oil supply issues).
• March of technofascism (ID checks, chat control, deanonymisation, “AI” everywhere, spyware is now normal, every smartphone is a 1984 spy TV, Anduril/Palantir merely smokescreens for an entire complicit sector etc.)
• The defanging of anarchism as a movement, the unbelievable erasure of Rojava and Chiapas from international discourse paralleling only the erasure of anarchist Spain in thoroughness.
• We living in interesting times, History II: A New Beginning, todo dia um novo 7×1, the surreality of fascism increasingly normalised without anybody taking on weapons, each week a new headline that would have been unthinkable two years ago.
• Reality fragmentation and narrative control through increasingly sophisticated technological means.

And what that all adds up to me is: We should keep diaries. As in, on paper.

---

Yes, becoming a political prisoner for your diary is a very real possibility, but IDGAF. I would much rather get arrested for doing something with a chance to help the world, than spend my time on the stage performing this rehashed trope of “complacent masses who refused to pick up guns as the nazis took power”, which is a role that's not only 20th-century-derivative but also boring, depressing, and doesn't go well with my outfits.

I've toyed with the idea of journaling in a conscript (perhaps my own Vinescript) or even a full conlang, but in the end that's a deterrent to the important thing, viz. to write. Journaling is intimidating. I type at 100wpm, if you're used to computers, moving into longhand feels painful. But one thing that I learned from #bujo, and later longhand creative writing, and then working on my thesis on paper, is that the slowness is a feature. It changes how your mind works, your relationship to language and the text; compared to typing, handwriting increases focus, attention and retention. It does, however, takes time. When I wrote my Holocaust poem in a frenzy while travelling through Berlin, I basically spent my entire time hopping from café to station bench to café writing nonstop, revision after revision, trying to capture what I experienced at Platform 17.

Then again, typing also takes all day if you account for drifting into the Internet because you have a device in your pocket. And even if you don't, if you had a e-ink typewriter or some other toy—again, your relationship with the text is just different by virtue of the slowness. A bit like you're editing and writing at the same time. I don't think I would have been able to write “Two is for Joy” if I had composed it on a keyboard.

This will be a very niche analogy but maybe some of you have had the experience of playing NES/Famicom Castlevania after getting used to SotN or other titles of the Igavania era. Suddenly everything is so sluggish. Your Belmont marches forward without the slightest haste, steps slow and imperturbable like the march of inevitability. Your whip flickers back for a beat before going forward. The Belmont commits to every jump, you can't change direction in midair, whatever you decided to do you have to face the consequences. Hordes of the undead knock you back undignifiedly, not terrible bosses but random bats flying you off-platform with the slightest brush of their wings. Used to the backdashes and fluid double jumps of an Alucard, a Soma, you feel like, wow, this game sucks. But it cannot suck. There's no way that fucking Castlevania has bad controls, Castlevania III has such high ratings, Rondo of Blood, Chronicles have such a stellar reputation. You must be not getting it. So you persevere, and then, eventually, it clicks; you realise how intentional these old games are, every screen carefully laid out like a puzzle; here's your set set of verbs, here are the enemies, how do you get through? You jump and whip a bat, and you keep the action button down; the Belmont walks backwards, with slow dignity, calmly dodging by a few pixels the hitbox of a bone thrown by the skeleton on the platform above; you move forward, then back, following the skeleton's movements, waltzing your own 8-bit danse macabre to chiptune Bach; it all fits together perfectly, like the elaborate gears of a clock tower. The Belmont is exactly as fast as they need to be.

That is how writing longhand feels like when you're used to typing.

---

Some time ago I was at a political conference travelling with a comrade, and a local comrade (a stranger to us) was kind enough to host us on her sofa. On the last day of the conference she wasn't at home so I decided to leave her a thank-you note, and I engaged my entire gender in it, writing a cute little one-page note with round letters and doodles and colourful pens and highlighter, the works. I wrote about how the trip went for us, because then she would know that her hospitality allowed all these experiences to be part of our personal history. This was the trip during which I had that misadventure where I forgot my bokutō at the top of a mountain at night and ended up climbing up and down twice, with just a tactical flashlight, futilely retracing my steps and failing to find the telltale iris-pattern sword bag anywhere, until I gave up and headed home and realised I had forgot Álmdrósar not at the top of the mountain as I had assumed, but rather on the sidewalk by a lamplight, after hiking down. It was down there all along.

So I wrote a summary of the entire misadventure in few sentences, a bit shorter than the one above, and my comrade read my note and said like: kinda incredible how you managed to condense the entire thing in such a small space. Because to her I had told the entire little drama, much of it by dumbphone calls as it happened, with great granularity of detail; and looking at the note I wrote, yeah, I accepted the compliment; there is an artistry to it, to sketching just the life lines that convey the energy, the feel of the subject you're portraying, with minimal hand movements. But I didn't even think of it, it just comes naturally when you're doing longhand. We had a conference to go, i couldn't sit there writing all morning. One thinks about which words to set down when it's impossible to change your jump mid-air.

That is what I think I should be doing with a paper journal. Think about what happened in the day, to me and to the world at large, and sketch the lifelines. Leave a record of what it was like to be a lesbian immigrant when the nazis came back in the 2020s and nobody took the threat seriously; and maybe my record will perform to someone in the 2120s, when nazis return again like fucking Castlevania Dracula, the same role that Weimar-era lesbian magazines did for me, viz. show that I'm not crazy, or that I'm crazy but I'm not wrong; how surreal it is, that everybody keeps going to work like nothing is happening; and this hypothetical future queer would learn, like I learned, that this entire thing is so very precedented, that we are here and have always been here, and that it's up to us, the living, to risk our necks this time. To commit to the jump.

Or maybe my diary will be destroyed by fascists, or more likely just be quietly forgotten and buried in a dumpster to rot with me. But the act of having written a diary will surely do me good in some way. At least it's not social fucking media.

The other day I was reading Emily’s Inheritance, which deeply disappointed me because it's that bait-and-switch where a story that looks like fantasy getting sci-fi rationalisations, and as a fantasy enjoyer that ruins it for me.

But in addition to that it's also straight, like not in any particularly invasive way, just by default. And thinking about that as I read, I understood why I obsess so much about that sweet sweet rep ever since stories with lesbians in it became a thing I can access. It's not that girls kissing get me off, or that I self-insert in place of one of the girls, or that the girl being a lesbian makes her my waifu. Not dissing any of that, but what I get from it is something much more ambient-level, like a radiating warmth. Consuming 90s media, I feel like I don't matter enough to be portrayed. Looking at transfem characters whose transition is defined by their attraction to men, I feel like I don't matter enough to be talked about. Heteronormativity makes me feel like I don't exist.

Once I realised that weird depersonalisation wasn't actually a necessary side effect of reading stories, looking for stories where queerness exist became important for me.

It helps that it just feels fresh—straight monogamic romance as a perfunctory plot device does feel tired and mechanical most of the time, especially in USA cinema. But that's not the primary problem. Sometimes straight romance is actually portrayed in interesting ways. I still get that sense of alienation when the entire worldbuilding erases the existence of queerness.

The same goes for own voices. One time a long time ago a girlfriend said casually while browsing books: eh I think I have read enough about the thoughts and feelings of straight men, I filled that quota for a lifetime. There's so much more I still have to read. And at first I thought it was a bit unfair, to have someone's identity be a factor in why you choose to pass on a book or not, but with time I came to understand her point of view, the ways that the identity and experiences of the writer actually affect the creation, the reasons why relative social position matters in one's intellectual sphere. Now it's a factor for me, too.

I was describing to someone the way that charming little European cafés are absolutely the ideal environment for me to write my thesis (as long as I leave cellphones and other devices home), and how I was getting a hell lot of text written, until I budgeted and realised the degree to which my family very much cannot afford me going every other day to charming little European cafés. And how silly I feel at my inability to replicate, at home or in public libraries or parks or anywhere else, the whatever-it-is that makes the café environment work so well for me. There's too many details that I don't feel like should matter, but end up mattering anyway. Like the fact that most libraries here close way too early for someone with a dayjob, weekends inclusive, and the ones that don't are far away and take an hour or more to reach, or are too cold or generally insufficiently cozy, or the absence of food and a bathroom in public spaces, or even the absence of the low ambient noise of people talking and background music, which I find to be the ideal stimulant. Or the fact that there's many different cafés, which means I can go to new places when one starts getting overly familiar—novelty, too, improves concentration for me. Like I don't want to depend on minutiae like that to write, it feels spoiled and a bit ridiculous. But the fact of the matter is, I write a lot more at cafés than anywhere else I've tried to write in, my master's only ever got done over overpriced lattes, and attempts to reverse-engineer or reproduce this effect have been irritatingly unsuccessful.

And the person said, “if I could I'd just finance charming little European cafés for you and call it a day”. Which made me think: how much does it cost to use charming little European cafés as a workspace? Like I often joke that an overpriced latte is the price I pay for a workroom with the right type of interior décor, but if you literally treat it as that, how much are you paying for said workroom. I've heard of many writers who will book a hotel vacation to write and I think that would work for me just great too, but it's prohibitively expensive; take that as a ceiling—a bed in a 6-people room in a hostel in the off-season here goes for some 30€, you're not finding a hotel for less, so as long as I'm spending less than 30€/day I'm spending less than writers who write in hotel vacations.

One could conceivably order a single 2.5€ expresso and stay at the café all afternoon, but for nutrition and comfort, let's suppose you get a medium cappuccino or a small kettle of hōjicha etc. for ~5.5€. I doubt I could write literally every day, let's say 4×/week as an optimistic estimate. That would make the cost of my lavish WeWork indulgence come to total of ~90€/month. Round it up to 100€ to have cake or a croissant a couple times: that's not something I can afford right now, but assuming my finances improve medium term, is a 100€/mo workspace really too expensive to get done my translation of Kaneko Fumiko's complete poetical oeuvre, in a method that I know for a fact works for me?

Long time no write! This is a blog to publish updates on my projects, so that's exactly what I'll do here.

Regex engine

Right now I'm writing a fast regular expression search engine in Rust. In case the reader doesn't know what a regular expression is, they allow specifying some rules about what some text should look like (e.g., think “starts with H”, “has 5 letters”), and then you can reason whether a text follows them (like the words “Hello” or “Hopes” do), or search for strings fulfilling the rules within a larger text. In our case, the regular expression to specify these rules would be H[A-Za-z]{4} (“H” followed by 4 letters).

There are quite a few software libraries that implement regular expressions in Rust. To name a few:

• regex: the most widely used, pretty fast.
• fancy-regex: supports more features.
• regexr: tries to get the best of both worlds, fastest implementation.
• resharp: quite custom-built, fast implementation.

I ran a benchmark consisting on generating various lengths of random sequences of A, C, G and T and then searching for all (possibly overlapping) matches of the regex ATG([^T]..|T([CT].|G[^A]|A[CT]))*T(A[AG]|GA) (which recognizes possible forward open reading frames). The results are these:

• regex: 8.8 MB/s, slowest.
• resharp: 65 MB/s.
• My crate in progress: 99 MB/s.
• regexr: 222 MB/s, fastest.

If we replace that regex with ATG(...)*?T(A[AG]|GA) (which matches the same regions but uses the lazy *? metacharacter for a more concise representation), then we get:

• regex: 8.8 MB/s.
• resharp: doesn't support that metacharacter.
• My crate in progress: 109 MB/s, fastest.
• regexr: 5.5 MB/s, slowest (why?).

regex and resharp had also the highest overhead, in the hundreds of microseconds, while both regexr and my crate could compile the regex in about 20 microseconds.

I would like to work a bit more on this crate. Specifically:

• Support capture groups, which the other crates do and I think is pretty much an expected feature of any regex library.
• Stabilize it some further. I'm using cargo llvm-cov and cargo mutants, but I may resort to cargo afl to weed out bugs even more aggressively.
• Make it faster. I have some tricks up my sleeve that could manage gains.

Career

I'm working as a Resident Physician in Psychiatry. Also trying to get a Master's degree in Biomedical Engineering. Pretty exciting stuff going on in that front.

Vera, a stats and probability professor gets caught up in what is literally a series of unfortunate events (A Low Probability Event) which changes the world. In what is essentially a post-apocalyptic story, she joins Agent Layne, of the Low Probability Event Commission (LPEC) to investigate the casino they suspect is behind it.

This story works on a scale both cosmic and personal. Like an anti-superhero story, LPEC is a nod at gross government overreach in the name of national security, saving the world, etc.

The first part of the book has some quite graphic depictions of bizarre deaths as a first person account of the Low Probability Event, which nearly put me off reading on. I'm glad I persevered to the end though.

#books #horror #body-horror

Based on my unreasonably obsessive dives into the themes of Asellus from 1997 SaGa Frontier, background lore, prototype concepts, multiverse ideas from gatcha games etc. etc. (1, 2), this is how I'd make a more fleshed out Asellus chapter as a SaGa Frontier mod, if I was able to make mods. Of course this is tailored to my personal interpretation of the texts, but I do not mean it as purely creative fanfic; everything is motivated by my understanding of abandoned concepts and underlying themes.

1. Change the translation to “Fae”

As the remaster suggested with “Faeblade”, the fae are a very decent comparison to the yōma and this is a much better translation than “Mystic”. The “yō-” in “yōma” is used to translate European fae into Japanese, too. For a full argument see foonote #1 on the Asellus analysis.

2. Give the Fae inherent regeneration

The Fae are supposed to be scarily powerful, but in gameplay terms they ended up significantly weaker than human characters. Moreover, Asellus is shown regenerating from a stabbing in the opening story, and Orlouge is supposed to be uniquely scary to the other Fae and maintain power over them because he has the special power to obliterate a Fae, who are otherwise immortal. Asellus' mangled corpse coming back to life with Orlouge's blood is itself indicative of the yōma's unique regenerative power, and it's the entire premise of the scenario, and yet none of this takes any part in gameplay.

You can therefore both improve the game balance and fix a plot hole by giving them a builtin regen.

3. Give Noble Fae the ability to suck blood

The fact that only nobles (=high class Mystics) can absorb the powers of other Fae by vampirism is part of the final story (Rei did it to Orlouge, Ciato to Rastaban, and Ciato tries with Asellus), but it's not at all clear in the plot. Give Noble Fae an inherent vampire skill, but not commoners like Time Lord etc. This resurrects Shōda Miwa's concept of “the bloodsucking clan”, but a bit wider; being able to suck blood is now the definition of high-class Fae.

I propose that instead of regenerating HP (which happens automatically as per above), biting an enemy regenerates LP. This will fit in ludonarratively with the plot point of a partly-obliterated Ciato desperately trying to bite Asellus to come back to life (he's down to 1LP). It will also quietly make the class distinction especially poignant for Mesarthim—probably the most useful Fae in gameplay due to her ability to heal the rest of the party, but it costs her LP; if only she could regenerate it… It will also balance out a bit the fact that the most useful Fae are all low-class (Mesarthim, Nusakan, Time Lord), but not completely override this fact (even without LP regen, they'd still be the most useful); which fits in with the theme that low-class Fae can surpass the nobles through training and personal abilities, but also the nobles have a unique and immediately visible ability that distinguishes them.

Using this tech as Asellus locks her out of the human ending, like the other Fae abilities.

4. Asellus sealing away her Fae Absorption techs reduces max LP

You don't have to even comment on it; the screen flashes for a moment, a damage noise plays, and LP reduces by 1. The player can draw their conclusions. Putting the abilities back in restores the max LP back, but not currently filled up.

This is a nod to the concept where she would have sealed the Faeblade with a holy talisman that burns the fae, only to be forced to draw it anyway to save her girls every so often, with the result that her sword arm would be all marked by burn scars, which she'd hide with long gloves. This is too far from the finished game to reimplement (the Faeblade isn't an actual object anymore, nor is it particularly powerful), but the themes of self-harm through suppression of her Fae side come through. Seal away all the Fae abilities and you're safely on the Human path, but you can tell you're hurting her. Morever the fact that if you're indecisive and seal the ability and then bring it back, the maximum LP is restored but not filled, and you can fill it with the vampire bite (above), is beautifully complementary.

5. Fascination by a Fae works on both genders, and also monsters

This isn't just for me being gay. The original concept for the yōma says that their idea of personal attraction is based purely on beauty (=CHA) and wholly unrestrainted by gender. Moreover, for a character class defined primarily by their supernatural seductive powers, the Fascination magic is kinda useless in the game, overshadowed by just doing direct damage. Make it also work for monsters (who are genderless shapeshifters anyway) would make it much less useless, since monsters are by far the majority of enemies. But we can exclude monster forms that don't seem sentient enough to understand the concept of beauty (e.g. slimes and living weapons), as well as the undead, and of course mechs, whose programming wouldn't be affected by magic.

This is not the case for humans casting Fascination, who still can charm only the “opposite gender” as in the original game. Maybe make a few characters secretly vulnerable to the same gender instead, or to both genders or to none, which both adds representation and a fun little easter egg.

Orlouge as the Charm Lord is irresistible to women, and this power passes to Asellus; both of those things are key plot points. Therefore Orlouge should do 100% success Fascination on all female characters except Asellus and Rei (bringing women to the Orlouge battle should be dangerous); and, conversely, Asellus should have 100% Fascination rate on all female enemies. This shouldn't affect things significantly since there's so few female human/Fae enemies, it's just a little detail just to make the plot point present in game mechanics. For extra lore points, quietly make T260G count as a woman for purposes of Fascination.

6. Rei starts without Fae tech

This is a nod to the fact that, in-lore, her Fae nature comes back only slowly as she ages in each reincarnation, until she hits 25; and we find her at age 12, so her powers shouldn't be fully back yet. She should begin with no absorption tech, and with only one spell each of Mirage and Fae schools—but with the gift for both. Regaining the spells and the absorption tech fairly quickly as you grind her would solve the plot contradiction by implying that fighting alongside Asellus accelerated the process of her Faeness catching up with her.

7. Bring back White Rose's roses

I like the original concept where Princess White Rose literally grows roses out of her hair; it is kinda awful in a body horror way but also beautiful, which fits in with the theme. And the idea that she managed to independently break free of Orlouge's Blood Rose-induced sleep by assimilating the roses adds a layer of depth to her character, which generally comes off as too passive. The fact that Orlouge tolerated this is not a plot hole, since he's secretly fond of servants who stand up for themselves, and admires both Rei and Zozma on this count. In fact, it further motivates the next point…

8. Be more explicit about Orlouge's jealousy

The fact that the Dark Labyrinth is meant to separate lovers who make Orlouge jealous, and that he's jealous of White Rose falling for Asellus, is too subtle in the final game. A single line on White Rose's escape would suffice to make this point clear; for example, “the Dark Labyrinth was created to punish those who incur the Charm Lord's jealousy. [continuing with the standard text] Once inside, you can only exit by leaving behind the one you love the most…”

9. Be more explicit about Golden Lion's background and sympathies

The fact that Princess Golden Lion was not chosen by Orlouge but gifted as a bribe by her father, and Orlouge made her a Knight because he's a fuckboy who doesn't see beauty in muscular women and “this way at least she's good for something”, adds a motivation beyond pure brainwashing for her loyalty—she's trying to prove herself worthy. This would be perfect as content found out in out-of-way places (e.g. alluded to in a history book on Shrike's library).

The fact that Golden Lion secretly sympathises with Asellus' rebellion because she hopes conditions for women would be better under an Asellus regency isn't made clear either. This shouldn't be spelled out but just alluded, as well as the tragedy that without the benefit of Orlouge's blood, she's simply unable to break the Fascination regardless.

10. Clarify the lesson of the Furdo Visit

What Asellus learns from the Fae Visit quests is generally clear:

• Mesarthim: The attraction that beautiful Fae women exert on men can turn them possessive and oppressive, even though this makes the men themselves sad (Mesarthim's captor is a miniature Orlouge).
• Dr. Nusakan: Even if Asellus purifies her blood, she can't change her past; once things are mixed, they are mixed forever. Her charm over women is part of her story now, and it's a mistake to reject it.
• Nasira: Evilness does not come from inhumanity, or from gender itself. A human woman is every bit as capable of objectifying cruelty as Orlouge himself. Powerful people from different societies will unite to oppress the lower classes, as in Orlouge selling out low-class Fae to Nasira.

The lesson of the Furdo event, by comparison, is pretty unclear. Initially it seems to be about how low-class Fae can surpass even the nobles with effort and by developing their unique abilities; except of course Furdo doesn't actually do that, his petrification technique means nothing to Asellus and would mean nothing to Orlouge, either. (Arguably Time Lord is the actual proof of this points.) Even in the restored remaster, I found this side quest confusing and pointless.

I propose that this is a good point for Zozma to point out how Fae society is stagnated, oppressive, and failing at its own values. Great artists like Genmu/Asura's swordsmith are ostracised despite contributing the most precious thing, Beauty; incredibly powerful yōma like Time Lord have no respect by virtue of birth, in violation of the society's core value of Terror; and the value of Pride, of refusing submission, conflicts with Orlouge's absolute rule. Wonderful beauties like Golden Lion and Kurenai are set aside, and a hundred others locked away forever, due to the ruler's paranoia over any change to the status quo; Orlouge has made the Chateau sad and empty, rather than prettier. Furdo should have been a genius magical crafter, treasured by a society dedicated to beauty and art; instead he ends up as this sad petty villain, turned reactionary by his oppression. Zozma is already commenting on Furdo during this quest and he's also the biggest critic of Facinaturu society, so it's an opportunity for him to weave some acid remarks.

11. Make some other lore points more explicit

• Orlouge is bored of perfect obedience, and has a secret respect for those who disobey him, like Rei and Zozma (after all, “pride in refusing to submit” is a core Fae value). He himself doesn't understand that all his relationships are unfulfilling because he relies on Fascination so none can be genuine; he himself isn't aware that he's trying to groom Asellus into a successor because that would be a true relationship for once.
• Asellus was ran over after getting distracted by the beauty of an adult Rei.
• Nasira is bitter over Asellus rejecting the gift of immortality, which she worked so hard to achieve and ultimately failed.
• Rei's ability to reincarnate while keeping her memories is a unique process she developed through spirit magic.
• Rastaban sent Ciato after Asellus to get rid of an obstacle to his coup, while simultaneously waking up Asellus' royal “obliteration” ability so she has a chance of defeating Orlouge as he planned. (I think that's why he schemed to bait Ciato in her direction; it's not at all clear.)

In all cases a very brief allusion would be more than enough to suggest these themes, usually no more than a single sentence. For example, if you defeat Orlouge in the full-Fae “bad ending”, he could say some final words like “Through endless centuries, I have never known such bliss... Rule, O Charm Lady of Facinatoru! Rule, my...”, dies, cue in Evil Queen Asellus starting her regency with a genocide in an attempt to surpass Orlouge in every aspect.

12. Restore the missing endings

This is the big one and would be the hardest to actually mod into the game. It restores what the Visit subquests were meant to do, which is to affect the ending as Asellus learns more about herself.

A 5-ending system would be nice:

• Denial Ending: As in the game's Human ending, but add a brief epilogue with Gina narrating that Princess White Rose never heard from Lady Asellus again, and Gina wonders how she's doing after she left forever. This implies she has wholesale rejected every bond she made in her period with purple blood. She wants to forget ever having been a Fae and is pretending it never happened.
• Human Good Ending: Do all the Fae Visit subquests, do the Save Gina subquest, and refrain from using any Fae powers. Asellus rejects a Fae body and becomes human again, but stays friends with her Fae allies, who continue young forever. Both her and Gina marry men and age into grandma bffs. The tone is happier than the Denial ending, with only a shade of melancholy from White Rose regretting Asellus' mortality.
• Half-Fae ending: As in the game.
• Golden Ending: The equivalent of the Case Files / Crazy Journal endings, but without Fuse. The ending implied by the gatcha games. Asellus stays half-Fae, but accepts the role of rulership. She does not genocide Orlouge's “leftovers”, but rather frees all the Princesses (they of course want to stay in the court anyway, grateful to their saviour; with some comedic relief of White Rose being jealous over it—this is a nod to the Crazy Journal ending). Rastaban still fights her due to his prejudice about her decision to stay a half-Fae, but once subjugated survives in penance. Golden Lion falls bravely fighting Asellus, but Asellus does not obliterate her, so she will regenerate eventually; the process may take years, and she is last seen in her glass coffin. (This is to make her loyalty still tragic, but also respect that in Asellus half-yōma endings she's contradictorily seen with Golden Lion; the knight survived, but will miss a golden era). Queen Asellus, with White Rose by her side, begins the long process of reforming the class divisions in Fae society. Ending unlocked by doing all the Fae Visit subquests and also saving Gina, while using Fae powers.
• Tyrant Ending: As in the game.

I thought I would make an analysis of how SaGa Frontier uses a lot of kendō terminology, but Sevon already did most of the job. I still have a few remarks and I sent them as a comment, but I'm saving a copy here in case Wordpress spam moderation silently eats my comment or something.

Fig. 1: Kirikaeshi, a kendō exercise (＊写真はイメージです).

• 切り返し Kiri-kaeshi (DoubleSlash / Double Vertical): As Sevon already noted in the main article, it's a basic exercise in kendō (and a fun one, too). We don't do it just “double”, but any number of times, typically 9, 11 or 13; in the game it might be double, though.
• 巻き打ち Maki-uchi (HardSlash / Winding Strike): In “maki” techniques you twist around their shinai with a circular movement of your wrists, then strike. Done properly, it feels super weird to take this, in a way I have trouble explaining—the force vectors go to places they shouldn't, and before you know what's happening, your shinai flies to the ground dramatically.
• 諸手突き Morote-tsuki ([Two-Handed] Thrust): One of the 4 fundamental techniques of kendō. It's quite different from the thrust in Western fencing in that we don't lunge, we step onto them both feet almost as if running over them, but with a pointy thing on the way. We also have a katate-tsuki (single-handed thrust), which isn't a move on SaGa.
• 二刀十字斬 Nitō-jūji-giri ([Two-Sword] Cross Slash): Not a kendō technique but has the feel of one; we have nitō (two sword) techniques, and a cross stance (jūni-no-kamae) and a cross guard (which is in the game, jūji-dome 十字留め), but not a cross cut (an idea which feels kinda pointless to me, but in a videogame it's ok).
• かすみ青眼 Kasumi-Seigan (Kasumi/Optical Slash): As Sevon already noted, “Seigan” refers to the middle of their eyes, and in kendō to the principle of always tracking their eyes with the tip of your sword. Kasumi, “mist”, refers to an old kenjutsu stance where you keep the sword horizontally at eye level with the opponent, now uncommon in kendō (you might have seen kasumi-no-kamae in samurai media; it looks like this). It's called “mist” because the purpose of this stance is to hide the length of your blade.
• 無拍子 (NoMoment / No Rhythm): In the sense of “syncopated” or “offbeat”. This refers to taking the opponent unprepared by striking all of a sudden in between the natural rhythm of their movements (the pacing of actions like lifting the sword then striking, or measuring the distance then lifting it, etc). You match the opponent's rhythm, then purposefully break it ( 「拍子合わせて無拍子で打て」).

払車剣 I think it's specific to SaGa. As a kendō player I immediately thought of harai-waza 払い技, techniques to sweep your opponent's sword off-centre forcefully. But I never heard of kendō techniques named 車; these are famous in judō throws, like ō-guruma, kata-guruma, te-guruma etc., and while some forms of kendō have throws, none of this make sense in context—this technique doesn't disarm or stun enemies, nor throws them. Since the game description is “車輪が転がるような剣の軌跡で切り刻む”, and it hits in a cone area, it seems to be pure fantasy, and called “wheel” because the fencer is pivoting while slashing multiple opponents; and “harai” in the sense of making wide swings that sweep a large area. The description in Minstrel Song is more evocative: “素早く移動しながら逆けさの連撃で敵全てにダメージ”, so they would be chasing enemies while repeatedly drawing reversed (bottom-up) diagonals.

A cultural note about SaGa series' iconic katana combo 乱れ雪月花 (“snow, moon and flowers in profusion”) is that snow, moon and flowers is a trope in Chinese poetry about the beauty of the seasons, originally from Bái Jūyì, which was highly influential in Japan (wikipedia article).

Haklarınızı Şansa Değil, Profesyonellere Bırakın

Hukuk, “hallederiz” denilerek geçiştirilemeyecek kadar ciddi bir alandır. Bir davanın kaderi, yazılacak tek bir dilekçenin detaylarında veya kaçırılan küçük bir yasal sürede gizlidir.

Zeki Şimşek Hukuk Bürosu; Aile, Ceza ve Gayrimenkul hukuku alanlarındaki uzmanlığıyla İstanbul'da müvekkillerine şeffaf ve sonuç odaklı avukatlık hizmeti sunuyor. Davanızın büyüklüğü ne olursa olsun, doğru strateji ve etkin savunma ile her zaman bir adım önde olun.

Hukuki sürecinizi güvence altına almak için üsküdar hukuk bürosu sayfamızı ziyaret edin ve profesyonel ekibimizle hemen iletişime geçin.

How dark is Dark Academia? As dark as the society we live in. Beyond the comfort of its moody, sometimes haunting ambience, Dark Academia reflects the fractures of a broken society.

Dark Academia debuted on Tumblr in 2015 and spread across various social media platforms in the late 2010s, reaching mainstream popularity during the COVID-19 pandemic. Today, it remains a subject of discussion, inspiring recent novels and films. Even the vintage tweeds and wool fabrics associated with Dark Academia fashion continue to find their place in the wardrobes of younger audiences. Moreover, the appeal lies in the imagery of a nostalgic dark intellectual fantasy world, embracing isolation, melancholy, and the pursuit of knowledge—an escapism from the drudgery of academic life.

Why the need to escape?

Students entering college in the 2010s faced a labor market still recovering from the Great Recession. While a college degree was considered the path to many middle‑class jobs, investing in a degree presented a higher risk. In some parts of Europe, austerity measures led to budget cuts in universities, while in the US, state funding for public colleges fell sharply. As a result, many colleges raised tuition and fees, and youth unemployment pushed more students into prolonged study. In the US and UK, students heavily relied on loans with rising debt levels. Furthermore, following the recession, youths saw an erosion of humanities programs through budget cuts, departmental closures, and declining enrollment. All these pressures set the stage for the Dark Academia trend.

Dark Academia unfolded across social media, connecting students and building collective identity.

Amid growing anxieties over student debt, cuts to humanities programs, uncertain career prospects—and later, the isolation and loneliness intensified by the pandemic—Dark Academia unfolded across social media, connecting students and building collective identity. It offered study rituals, academic identity, and even fashion style—all of which functioned as coping mechanisms. Moreover, in times of uncertainty, the aesthetic provided comfort by affirming that the pursuit of a degree, particularly in humanities, could still yield cultural capital.

Nostalgia is central to Dark Academia. The aesthetic romanticizes an era—particularly the early-to-mid 20th century, or even earlier—when intellectual life was closely tied to Western elites and studying ancient art, Classical Greek, and classical literature conferred social prestige. Ivy League institutions, along with Oxbridge, cultivated an exclusive world for those fortunate enough to belong. In modern life, Dark Academia goes beyond imagery of books, libraries, and the walls of Gothic university architecture. It extends well into the lifestyle of coffee shops and late-night studying accompanied by classical or gothic-inspired music, and the fashion style of distinctive Ivy League cardigans, tweed blazers, and plaid shirts.

Why this obsession with studying and nostalgia?

As mentioned above, Dark Academia emerged as a form of escapism to cope with financial anxieties surrounding higher education, the pressures of academic life, and the uncertain future of the humanities. As a psychological response to these crises, imagery of Ivy League and Oxbridge traditions from a time when intellectual and academic identity defined prestige—a distinctive feature of Dark Academia aesthetic—served as a nostalgic refuge.

The solitary life of late-night studying is romanticized in Dark Academia, somewhat sensualizing the image of the tortured poet, artist, or intellectual and casting moody, melancholic ambience. This allure is further reinforced by an interior design trend that favors muted palettes of white, black, beige, brown, dark green, and navy blue, accented with textbooks, candles, and vintage ornaments. Such settings echo the atmosphere described in The Secret History—the Das Kapital of Dark Academia.

The grandeur of solitude in pursuing intellectual growth within the fantasy world of Dark Academia has, over the years through various digital platforms, built a collective identity and a flourishing community among younger audiences grappling with the lingering effect of the recession while adjusting to isolation under COVID-19 policies.

While Dark Academia romanticizes the imagery of studying humanities, its appeal expanded during the pandemic, reaching students across disciplines and even audiences beyond academia because it offered a community, belonging, and a coping mechanism. With the erosion of humanities majors intensifying in recent years in the US and parts of Europe, Dark Academia continues to serve as a nostalgic refuge. For humanities students, it provides a way to reclaim intellectual identity as well as cultural capital amid the devaluing of their field. It serves a similar purpose for other students and young people who—amid instability—yearn for intellectual prestige alongside its cultural identity.

A self-reflective evolving aesthetic

Paradoxically, while idealizing a bygone world centered on academic elitism, Dark Academia classics—such as the film Dead Poets Society (1989) and Donna Tartt’s novel The Secret History (1992)—also challenge the tradition of conformity and the moral codes long upheld in academic institutions. Thus, Dark Academia is a trope of nonconformity, antiauthority, and, to some extent, antiestablishment—a self-reflective aesthetic, ever evolving.

Dark Academia is a trope of nonconformity, antiauthority, and, to some extent, antiestablishment ....

Therefore, we cannot talk about Dark Academia without addressing its white, male-Anglo elitism. This ethnocentrism has been widely discussed, and as the trend continued to spread, criticism as well as resistance to its Western elitism gave rise to what can be described as a neo-Dark Academia, where the aesthetic is adjusted and adapted to embrace inclusion and diversity. This reformed or reimagined Dark Academia—while still loyal to the rebellious spirit of its prototype, Dead Poets Society and to the dark allure of its birth mother, The Secret History—has transformed itself by bringing feminist, queer, black, and decolonial reinterpretations. Since its peak, Dark Academia has increasingly incorporated non-Anglophone literature, traditions, and cultures into its narratives, drawing from Asian, African, and Latin American sources.

Reinterpretations in contemporary works have carried Dark Academia beyond nostalgia. R.F. Kuang’s Babel (2022) lays bare how colonialism, racism, sexism, and class inequality are embedded in academic institutions. In satirical mode, Emerald Fennell’s film, Saltburn (2023) mocks the toxicity of Western elitism and the pursuit of class mobility. M.L. Rio’s If We Were Villains (2017), echoes a Shakespearean tragedy while centering on queer love in an academic setting. Other works, such as Victoria Lee’s A Lesson in Vengeance (2021) exemplifies how contemporary Dark Academia has shifted away from male‑dominated narratives, emphasizing women and queer voices, while Katie Zhao’s How We Fall Apart (2021) moves further by centering Asian American women’s experiences. Yet across these diverse reinterpretations, the persistence of rape culture—manifested in hazing traditions and other practices—within elite universities remains underexplored in Dark Academia critiques.

The paradoxes that dismantle a broken society

In short, Dark Academia is both a literary genre and an aesthetic subculture that indulges in a nostalgic fantasy of an imagined past. The decolonial reinterpretations and resistance which have emerged within the Dark Academia community challenge the Anglo-elitist and patriarchal narratives reproduced through this aesthetic, seeking to re-write them. This creates another paradox: Dark Academia as both nostalgic escapism and cultural resistance. It is through these contradictions—elitism versus nonconformity and nostalgia versus innovation—that Dark Academia evolves into an aesthetic mirroring the fractures of a broken society, while simultaneously dismantling the cracks that hold it together.

-Some Thoughts from the Cappuccino Girl- (2026)

#literature #subculture #fashion #film

You might be interested to read: The Art of Controlling Cultural Meaning: Art Nouveau and Art Deco in the Third Reich

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