SEVEN: LOST HIGHWAY
from ARBITER
Sekri looks out the window.
We're machines that eat and breathe and look really cool You're reacting just the way that I thought you would And I've replaced my heart with metal parts And I'm working out just fine, but I can't get it to start — Holy Fucking Shit: 40,000, by Have A Nice Life
“...and what am i meant to observe?”, Sekri says. Of course, the image he sees is not of particular merit or importance to him. It is the last vestiges of a dying planet, one that has forgotten its own history as its inhabitants disappeared in one fell swoop. There are greens, blues, pale yellows, and greys. But none of them stand out to Sekri, as he has gazed upon similar sights repeatedly to the point where they are dull in his perception. When you say “landscape landscape landscape landscape landscape”, it stops sounding like a word, doesn't it? To those who lived here, the image before him would have been a warning of things to come. There would have been endless speculation, should they have been made aware of their fate. Would it be a change in the climate that took them out? Some kind of war, with weapons that served no purpose except mass devastation? The impact of a solid body from elsewhere driving a hole through their landscape? Widespread disease that their systems failed to account for? Fire and brimstone? ...Does it even matter? Does it lessen the effect to know the cause? There's a certain permanence to knowing how much time you have left. You might decide to act on various impulses you've had throughout your life, knowing that the behaviors you exhibit will not have lasting consequences. You may hole up, attempting to prolong your small window of existence as long as possible, spending your remaining time with those you care about. Or, and this is the most relevant part, you may make something. You may opt to use your final moments to bring others into your memory: an auto-biography, a diary, a small trinket, a named space of land, a tape. It may not even be good, but that doesn't matter. It is yours. All this is to say, the people of this planet had no time to create anything of this nature, because they had no warning. Even if they did engage in this act of creation, it is unlikely that Sekri cares, especially right now. “do you not immediately recognize something of interest?”, Amry says, attempting to counter Sekri's overwhelming tired nihilism. “i recognize... a swath of gaseous foreign bodies. i recognize the planet designated 102E... one that, in misguided reasoning, you are suggesting we hole up on.“ “you have a lack of whimsy and imagination, and it is concerning to me”, Amry says cheerily. “then what do you see, genius?”, Sekri says, as his last chance to exert agency begins to vaporize. “i see the face of a new mother! one that will not leave us blighted. one that is abundant with high density concepts that we can use to sustain ourselves for generations. one that we can use as a place to find something to appease the arbiter, or to settle anew failing that Σ8]“ “to adopt this unsanctioned knowledge is tantamount to decay. do you have any idea what might come out the other end? would it be us?“ “i believe that this truth is a lie you have been fed, and moreover, you are speaking in worst cases again Σ8C“ “is this not already a worst case?“ “i... am trying to avoid that line of thinking, and i believe that the arbiter will understand if we can bring something of value“ “...how quaint of you.“ Amry, eager to change the subject, attempts to suggest a new idea. She'd rather not inspect her own internality right now, because it is screaming at her endlessly, like her voidform's tendrils cascading into herself. “now if you will notice, we have various green masses. we were attracted by density once, that much is useful — there are many attractors though. we noticed colors here, among many others“ Sekri facepaws. “we have density for a reason, it sustains subsumption“ “are we looking for something to subsume? i will not decay for many, many ticks now!!! overloads are intense, i feel as if i am spinning!“ “eventually we will — i will — need something...“ “that is a worst case”, Amry says, entirely ignoring the actual facts of the matter. “we want the arbiter to act as if we have given a gift, something so invaluable that we are heralded as gods, means justifying the ends“ “foreign concepts again... it feels as if you almost revere 102E.“ “i do.”, Amry says, raising their uncannily low cadence's voice. Her form was not meant to emphasize things in this manner. It was, evidently, meant for other purposes; comedic ones, not serious ones. Not this conversation. “they clearly had a breadth of information beyond us. artifacts and cultures we can never understand; finally! something alien!“ Sekri pauses, and a breaker flips within him with a resounding SNAP! It seems to indicate to him that there is something that he has not yet seen, something relevant, something dense. It is a memory, and he is unable to trace it. It feels like a foreign intrusion, as if someone took a scalpel to him and inserted a lie between where the truths go. He pauses. “can i tell you a story? ...a myth, i fail to know its source“ “you cannot exactly thought experiment your way out of this, you know!!!“ “believe me, i am acutely aware. it would provide me some comfort, if you were to hear it.”, he says. Regardless of its importance, he wishes to eschew whatever has come into him from his system. There is only one thing that he could say, and only one way to say it. “alright”, Amry says, placing her paws down on the cold metal flooring.
there was a world, and it was once of gods; your foreign concept, but one of great power. birthed from the primordial, they were as they were. they were overthrown by new gods, ones of greater power; banished to places that they surely could not escape. the new gods created mortals, those that irreversibly decay. they could not Understand, so they attempted to by proxy. they withheld some of their Understandings, in fear.
...but an old god, son of the Piercer, saw different. he wished for these Understandings to be known, spread without consequence. so he stole them, and created Culture for the masses; a set of Understandings so basic they could be shared. but the new gods were of great power; the son of the Piercer was bound to eternal torment, an endless cycle of subsumption and decay.
As Sekri wraps up, Amry's eyes turn to half-circles, and her face scrunches up. “i... where did you get this from?“ “i told you, i do not know“ “if you are implying what i think you are implying..... you do not want to do this because of power? when did you begin to cower in fear? it means nothing if the power is unjust!!! we would decay regardless!!!“ “the arbiter... cannot be unjust. he has brought us life.”, Sekri says, hesitating. “there you go with your full stops. do you wish to convince me to lie down until we are extradited? you are along for this ride with me.”, Amry says, raising her voice to the intonation of hissing. “i am creating the station from which we will continue! the future will look upon us as the new 102E, as great pirates and preservers testing the waves; ones who brought riches and wonders. i will not let you let that dream decay!!!“ Sekri flinches, and gazes upon her with concern. She realizes that she has gotten too heated, especially against someone who has recently panicked. She backs down, slightly, attempting to look bashful but failing to control her form. “...otherwise i would not appear as this floating signifier Σ8/“ “...a floating signifier. that is what you think you are? you said it yourself, you called it a-“ In an instant, however, Amry's new reflexes catch up with her internality, her perception as razor-sharp as her depiction. She jumps from her resting position and arches her back, staring directly at a laser-thin point on the surface she observes. “what is that?“ “...what is what?“ Amry points at the object with her claws, scratching the window surface with a horrifying cadence. “please never do that again. this is not very dense, regardless. what do you wish to do with it? “if we wish to bring an understanding that is important, not necessarily dense, what do you notice here?”, Amry says, using rhetorical questions annoyingly. She really wants Sekri to see things from her perspective, but alas, they have dissimilar visual perceptors at present. “i am tired of putting up with this! do i not have control of my own actions? am i to be moved like a doll? am i to be subjected to an endless barrage of inquiry-circle shit?“ “it is a simple question, tragicality“ “and why would you address me with that title if you want me to disregard the whims?“ Amry grins. “because i can“ “if i state what i observe, will you be quiet?“ “maybeeeee!!! Σ83“ “fine. it is black and white, covered in solid rock. it appears to be an unservicable-class entity, if i were to guess, which i do and am. there are grey offsides that are heightened, and there are red walls. it is nothing of...“ That's when he notices. “...it is shaking?“
LOCAL COORDINATES: 39.950563, -75.149062 NO ORGANIC INTELLIGENT LIFE DETECTED BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT NO OTHER RELEVANT INFORMATION
“absolutely nothing relevant?”, Sekri says, attempting to make logical sense out of what he's just seen. There has to be a reason for the seismic disturbance he saw. Some kind of dense entity must cause something like that, or some kind of organic intelligent life, or some kind of fusion reaction going on in the planet's core. Surely there is something important going on here.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR YOU HAVE CYCLED ME BETWEEN ONE OF THE DENSEST THINGS I HAVE HAD EXPOSURE TO AND PERHAPS THE MOST NOTHINGEST NOTHING TO EVER NOTHING REGARDLESS; UNSERVICABLE-CLASS ENTITY MY JUDGEMENT IS THAT IT WAS UTILIZED BY LOCAL FORMS AS A SPACE FOR COMMUNION BUT EXTREMELY BANAL COMMUNION NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE HAS SEEN GENESIS HERE
“then is there anything that would explain the disturbances that i viewed?“
NOTE PRIOR COORDINATES 39.9645473, -74.9661513 POSSIBLE CAUSAL LINK GIVEN SIMILARITY OF VALUES
Huh.
OR NOT I HAVE NO IDEA AHAHAHAHA
The fact that this is reasonably close to the prior anomaly is at least interesting, Sekri thinks, despite the fact that it raises even more questions. Namely, why is there a disturbance here and not there? Why did he not track down anything at all in the prior area — is it entirely devoid of density? It's at that point that he realizes that the difference between 39.950 and 39.964 is far more than he imagined, as the coordinates of his prior and current positions appear before him on the computer's visualizer. It's not a large gap between the two, but certainly enough that they're distinct. In truth, Sekri doesn't understand what these numbers really mean, or why the computer uses them to navigate. It is only important to the computer. “right. well, prepare a report. scrounge any necessary information that you are able to by scanning local signage, and ensure that my observation of lateral disturbances is noted and taken into account.”, Sekri says, noting that the computer's auto-generated reports tend to be riddled with errors. But he doesn't really have time to deal with that right now, and more importantly, he doesn't particularly believe that said report will be of any use. It's only in this moment, after all the panic attacks, as the ship lands on the coordinates, that Sekri is able to step back and realize what the stakes are. Obviously, there's been prior, instinctual reactions, but that isn't how he likes to think. He prefers to act primarily in logistics mode, and the logistics are thus: Amry has been extradited to Cognis. As a result, she either needs to come back, or she will be forcibly returned to the area. Assuming that she does not return, and Sekri knows that she won't, there will be a crew dispatched to her location, either on this plane or in the Inclinosphere. But given that Amry has recently consumed an Overload-class entity, it is highly unlikely that she is to be extradited in the Inclinosphere. She would be liable to lash out. The extradition order was assigned specifically to Marka. Given all that information, this means that Marka is coming here. It means that he, alongside a slew of nameless Correction officers, are liable to show up far before they find anything that is worth it. Furthermore, if they were to find something valuable, they would just... Sekri doesn't want to think about this, and he knows what will happen if he does. Amry's plans have always been inscrutable, but this is on a new level of inscrutable, so much that he can't even scrute it. Whatever that means.
As the vessel lands, Amry does not realize how much her actions look like a complete mistake.
The entire area does not have any particular credence to it. It does not feel like a space of great importance, nor does it feel like it has any particular density to it. It feels.... banal, boring, even dull. It is almost like the space like they were at their prior nearby coordinates. Just a set of poles and branches. Another snake. Nothing more. Sekri can hardly contain his enthusiasm as he perceives the landscape ahead of him. “...great.”, he says, stretching his intonation. “maybe a walk could clear your gaze?”, Amry says, looking quizzically towards Sekri. It's best to just let him play out his temper tantrums when he gets like this. “...do you know what i want to do right now?“ “...no? Σ8|“ “i want to lie down and rest until i decay.”, Sekri says as his joints begin to slouch. “i think that is even better reason to not do that, if i am being clear“ “i appreciate your input. i will be sure to take it up with the arbiter during our impending incredibly short hearing“ “sekri... if we do not look, we will not find anything >_<“ “and what if we do? what if we do. what if we find something? have you thought that far ahead? we do not have any reason to believe that appeasement is a viable strategy, especially given that they can just take the concept we find from right under us.”, Sekri says, throwing his appendages in the air, speaking through tears. “you have placed me onto a quest that will end in nothing but my decay!“ “you are thinking in absolutes again, tragicality”, Amry says, trying to avoid the topic. “besides, if we do not do anything, thoughts of leverage do not help us!! what are we to leverage?“ “urgh. just. lead the way.“ “...okay“ The two of them proceed past the vessel's entrance into the sterile darkness of the snake ahead. There are various blockades that appear to indicate the development of new lands, but they are not particularly obstructive, given that there is nobody present to enforce them. Within them, there is a quadrilateral present with lots of lush greens. Sekri perks up slightly, noting a building across the area. It is full of transparencies, as well as something that seems to be somewhat dense; certainly nothing that would work for Amry's intended purposes of appeasement, but something nonetheless. Not Overload-class, like the nearly infinitely spreadable meme that Amry embodies, but at least Heighten-class. It was memetic, but it did not fly above its genesis. Well, whatever it was, it was going to be useful in tracking something down. Maybe Sekri could trace the Concept up the chain to something big. Maybe something else important would happen. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Amry, however, evidently does not give a shit. She finds a rock on the ground and bats it around. “what is this???“ Sekri tries to hide his emotions, emitting the following words with a stifled groan. “...that is a rock, amry. we have rocks.“ “but what if it is an interesting alien rock? what if it hides some greater secret?“ It isn't. “it doesn't.“ “how can you be sure?“ “i can not, but i think we have better uses of our time than doing nothing but messing around with the smallest things we can find.”, Sekri says. “something was moving or shaking around here, do you even know what it was?“ “no? if i did why would i bother coming over here???“ “okay.”, Sekri says. He wants to say more, but he knows that if he spends one more moment with this thought he will explode into a thousand tiny metaphorical pieces. For once, he manages to keep his cool. “well, i found a relatively dense entity to your right, if you care to look at it.“ Regardless of Amry's distaste for classical ways of gazing upon worlds, she instinctively flicks her gaze rightward, and sees something that, given its chemical composition, should not really mean anything to anyone.
But it does. Given its exterior, the entity in question seems to be mostly made of copper, though its use is obscured and not easily seen. Furthermore, a transparency obscures it, making it difficult to see the entity in its full form. “what do you think it is?”, Sekri says. “that is a rock, sekri. we have rocks Σ8}”, Amry replies, putting her paw on her chin as if to indicate a chuckle. “...ugh. whatever. we can go around and look closer, if you would like.“ “no need!”, Amry replies. As if it was entirely natural to her, Amry runs backwards, revs up, and crashes directly into the transparency as if it was completely useless. Immediately, various shards begin to coalesce on the ground below, which would be a significant hazard if any land-bound entities were unaware of their presence. It's a good thing that none of those are here, because the clean-up crew wouldn't be happy, and replacing it would likely take a frustrating amount of time. The sound of crashing makes Sekri flinch, and his form briefly tenses up, before instead shifting to cold pragmatism. “...do you really think that was the absolute best course of action? out of all of them? you have left hazardous shards everywhere!“ “yes, and? it does not appear that anyone is here to be hurt!!!“ “...me.“ “oh. right”, Amry replies, as Sekri steps over the mine-field of shards on the ground to see the room's interior. The area is barren, as if for nothing but display of the entity in question. Immediately, both Amry and Sekri believe that the very fact that this entity is being displayed in an open area means something about its density; at the very least, the environment suggests some kind of propensity for visiting the entity in question. This alone would likely mean that the entity is dense, but the sheer attractive force that the two of them feel for it means that it is more dense than they might imagine. Amry walks around the perimeter of the entity. Its base has a circular structure, upholding the larger mass above it. It is affixed to a wooden block that upholds its heavy weight. Towards its bottom, there is a dangling oblong protrusion that appears to swing to and fro, if one was to poke at it. Perhaps most striking, though, is the presence of a foreign alphabet that she has seen before on its surface. For whatever reason, the vantage point from which she is looking at it seems to obstruct the view of this alphabet. But words do remain on its surface. “Philada”. She doesn't know what that means, or what the letters are. What she does know, though, is that the copper of the entity appears to be severely damaged, as if it snapped long ago. There is a long, jagged crevice along the outside of it that appears to be polished — it must have been damaged for a long time, enough so that those who cared for it began to admire the damage as part of its unique charm. “what do you think it does?”, she says. She flicks at the aforementioned protrusion towards the center of the copper ring. It swings back and forth from her pawing, almost hypnotically. “...it does appear to be especially dense.” thwip. “i do not care about density in this moment!! what i want to know is function, if this is something that we have not utilized, something transformative” thwip. “it is a block of mostly copper, we have copper. we found copper in the-” thwip. “in the you“ “not in the me, i am organic, ahaha!!! mrow”, Amry taunts. The copper rod swings back and forth, back and forth. “...yes. okay. well, i do not think that it will be especially useful” thwip. ...Can she please stop that? “presupposing that density is useful, it must be dense for a reason, yes?” thwip. “density is not use, it is density, it is importance.” thwip. Amry. Amry this isn't a good idea. “then it must be important for a reason!!!”, Amry protests. She is batting with both paws by now, flailing wildly as if the copper is an enemy assailant. Please stop? “we have known many foreign bodies to be highly irrational and not truly find usage out of the objects they find dense. density is not use, it is value.” thwip. Please? “then we must figure out what made it so dense! i want to understand those who were here...” thwip. Sekri crouches down to gaze directly at Amry. “no, we want to understand what is of use that people here made. it is not our purpose to discover their meanings, and we are especially not eschatologists.” thwip. Fine! See if anyone cares. They're all gone. Go ahead. “how much of this is because you are depressed? @_@” thwip. “i am not depressed!!!! i am reacting adequately to the nightmarish circumstances for which we are in, and—” thwip. DING! She... oh good lord. She fucks it? She fucked it. Amry's flicking causes a loud noise as the copper dislodges itself from its wooden prison, splitting itself in two alongside the crevice along its surface. She dashes away from underneath the copper just before it comes crashing down with a resounding thud, landing on the transparent shards and causing them to further segment. The shock makes her fur stand clean up on her back, as she briefly considers the ramifications of cause and effect. One of the shards hits a square platform on the ground before bouncing upwards; material behavior that would indicate rubber, instead of copper. It smashes through yet another panel of transparency next to the one that Amry already catastrophically destroyed, resulting in some sort of x2 combob of utter building destruction. Sekri, standing behind this panel, ducks rapidly, and the rapidly moving copper nearly gives his blue fur a clean trim. The density, the potential saving grace, wasted. The last strand, cut. The whole separated into parts of no use at all. Sekri stares at the shattered copper. He tries to let his pieces of thoughts cohere into larger ideas, but he can't seem to get anything to come out at all. He tries to weigh his options, but they aren't options, he doesn't have an option, he's stuck here in this pit that he dug for himself — that she dug for him — that society dug for him. Even the remaining flora of this foreign body remember what a response like this seems to mean. Only they seem to know. A massive amount of density is lost, as context is removed and split. He seizes up, curls into a ball, and we cannot see through him. “...sekri?”, Amry says. It's impressive as to how little effect it seems to have. The limbs and appendages of his body begin to curl up into each other. They shake and shiver like reeds in the wind, tensing and convulsing on instinct. Amry curls up within the recesses of some of the split copper. The bumpy texture, away from the jagged, shattered edges, feels nice on her paws. Some time passes with no response. She tries to poke at the semi-catatonic Sekri, but her short, feline paws don't have much of an effect. She realizes, then, that there's a much easier way of snapping someone out of it. She takes out her claws, rubs them against the copper, and then runs through Sekri's fur with a thwip. He reacts instinctively, grabbing her paw and nearly throwing her by it, but stops before it can cause any severe damage. “...sorry.“ “no, it makes sense!! i was the one who broke it“ “mm.”, Sekri says, without realizing that's not a word. “we can find something else, it is not that big of a problem“ “that appears to be almost all of what you say, if i am being frank. no, honestly, i am being frank!! it is all you say!! it is like you are operating on loop sometimes“ “Σ8? i do not know what you are talking about...“ “it is not that complicated. whenever i raise a concern, and i appear to be nothing but a barrel of concerns lately, you minimize it. it happens over, and over, and over. it is as if what governs us is using us as characters. i feel like i am going to lose my sanity, i feel like i am the only one that can see it“ Of course, Sekri isn't in a narrative, but he's having trouble with that again. It wouldn't be the first time. Those types of delusions aren't fun. “you are not, though! i appreciate your perspective, i promise, otherwise i would not bother to hear it Σ8/“ “can i ask you a very strange and possibly alarming question?“ Amry's eyes narrow, but only on instinct. Her body language is unfamiliar to her. “alright“ “why are we friends? why are you friends with me, after barely contributing nothing but concern and doom? why am i friends with you, after all you have done here to undermine our safety?“ “i—“ “all you seem to do is burn and burn until there is nothing left! the only thing you seem to care about is vague curiosity, as if you have preemptively embodied your form. it is somewhat refreshing to have another perspective but i wish it would be less destructive!“ “for one—“ “not just destructive! you have ruined me! you have ruined us!“ “did you forget that i was sent here to decay?“ He ignores that. “...how did we meet?????“ Amry's eyes open back up. Still unnatural. Her visage seems to ooze genuine concern. It's a question that she should be prepared to answer, something incredibly simple. Factual recollection. “...i can not remember, in the moment“ “is that not strange to you? is it not strange that such simple things seem to elude us“ Amry flips onto her back. Traditionally, felines hate this, but she isn't one. Not really. “...we are all we have for each other, are we not? perhaps it was just proximity, as dark as that is to say!!“ “what do you mean?”, he says. He begins to lose some of the tension stored in his form. “i know we exist among many, but we can not really... meet new friends or cousins, can we? it has always been the same us, on and on. you have said that you feel that others do not like you—“ “i never said that.“ “—it was implied, then. but perhaps we are together, on this planet, because we are the best friends available for each other. among many, without variety, without genesis, sometimes one has to... settle, i suppose. and i do care about you, deeply. not regardless, but i just do“ “so am i just a convenience to you? is that it?“ “no... well. no“ “would we be friends if we were anyone but ourselves?“ The words ring in Amry's skull again, despite it taking a different shape than the last ringing. Each tick she can recall seems to reverberate in her. It feels like the sound of smashing a guitar against a metal floor. It feels like cutting her flesh open with nails. “i can not be anyone but myself Σ8{“ “then i wish you were less... that, sometimes“ “i will try my best”, she says. Best to resign out of convenience, she thinks. She's got a world to comb through, and she really needs Sekri's help, regardless of how she feels. If they're going down, they have to go down together. “i really do care about you. i do not know if we would be close if we were elsewhere, but i think it is a useless experiment...“ “...i appreciate it. i just... i am just frustrated, i apologize“ “you are my best friend that i have now. i am glad we are here together ^_^“ He says the words before he has time to parse their meaning. “me too.“
